Hi ,
There are three words that can shut down even the most powerful of women:
"How's your diet?"
Ugh, right? For many of us, this question is like a fuel-injected dose of shame or defensiveness straight to our amygdala. It often sends us spiraling into self-deprecation and a rapid-fire verbal manifesto of everything we've eaten in the past 24 hours. And let's be honest, the judgment surrounding our diets doesn't contribute to our well-being; it often just leads to worse habits instead of supportive ones.
How do I know this? Well, for starters, there's solid research on the link between striving for the "perfect" diet and binge eating. A June 2023 study in the Journal of Eating Disorders found that:
"Our findings suggest that Perfectionism Concerns are closely associated with binge eating symptomatology."
The pressure to have a "perfect" diet often comes with a hefty mental price. Whether it's feeling isolated, restricted, or just plain hungry, we have to ask ourselves:
"Is this truly the best way to take care of myself?"
This week, I had an interesting experience with a doctor who clearly hadn't looked at my chart before our appointment. As I described my symptoms, she immediately asked the dreaded question. As I stammered to tell about all of the ways I was getting my protein, she interrupted, recommending a restrictive diet – gluten-free, dairy-free, low carb, nut-free, oil-free – and told me to stop all cardio and stick to walking and yoga. (You know I have a certain "penchant" for storytelling, but in this case, it's a word-for-word recounting!)
As she went on and on about turmeric studies, I felt myself dissociate. WHOOSH! Suddenly, I was dropped into what my therapist calls "the room of the amygdala" – that fight, flight, fawn/freeze part of our brain that kicks in during stressful situations. We've created a metaphor for these moments that involves four doors: the three F's (fight, flight, fawn/freeze) and then... joy. If – and it's a big IF – you can pause in moments of stress and find that fourth door, you're more likely to navigate through the situation without too much fallout.
Luckily, I've been practicing stress management for years and recognized where I was. As she continued prattling on about going all things "free," I thought about how I could choose door number four. I imagined myself in a movie like "Working Girl" or "Captain Marvel," where the quiet girl suddenly claims a moment of extreme power. I knew I couldn't shoot lightning out of my eyes, so I started an internal soundtrack of Carly Simon's "Let The River Run," got up before she had finished talking, said "thank you so much, it was good to see you," walked out of the office, wished the front desk a wonderful day, and stepped out onto Michigan Avenue humming:
"It's asking for the taking,
trembling,
shaking.
OH my heart is aching, we're coming to the edge, running on the water, coming through the fog, your sons and daughters!"
As I stepped into the October sun, I realized that leaving that office was the most compassionate way I could care for myself in that moment and started laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. I walked down the street like an 80's secretary with big hair and sneakers over pantyhose, humming all the way, knowing that the move I had made had just shored up my self-trust like a GIRL BOSS!
Food is life. However, it has evolved to become hyper-available and VERY TASTY - more tasty than ever before. In my opinion, it's not restriction that is the answer, it's awareness coupled with an understanding of the most important piece in creating or changing habits:
"The Bigger Want"
This something I talk about with all of my clients. We often get so caught up in the "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" of our diets that we lose sight of what truly matters. What is the bigger want behind your desire to eat healthier? Is it to have more energy to play with your kids? To feel more confident in your clothes? To improve your overall health and well-being? To walk in the fall colors and remember that life is more than the box of chocolates you did, or didn't eat on Halloween?
When we focus on the "bigger want," the pressure around food starts to fade. We can make choices that support our goals without getting bogged down in guilt or self-judgment.
Are there adjustments I can make to my diet? Sure – most of us are aware of areas where we could make a change. But do I need to feel shame about it? Absolutely not. I've got a colorful life to live that involved music and nourishing flavor - that's the freedom I'm seeking.
So, this week, I invite you to take a moment before you get ready to eat a meal. Breathe deep. Consider your life's "bigger want." What is it that truly motivates you to take care of yourself?
With love and encouragement,
✌️ Coach JZ
PS - Our first week of walking brought us all over the globe. Participants have been glad for the mental health benefits - taking angry walks, cold walks, rainy walks and feeling better afterwards - as well as the opportunity to peek into other's experiences. Registration closes on Monday, 10/21 and you have until Halloween to complete the challenge. Join us and enjoy the beauty of fall!
WEEK OF October
Monday: Strength Without Strain Bounce Class
Wednesday: OUR 200th CLASS CELEBRATION!!!
Classes air live at 9:00am Central Time & The Replay Will Be Up Later That Day.
0 comments