Instagram LogoI write one masterpiece to ninety-one pages of shit. I try to put the shit into the wastebasket. Ernest Hemingway If I was going all spiritual on your ass, I’d say that Hemingway had it pegged when it came to calling it. Put the shit in the wastebasket and move on with your life. We know he didn’t have life pegged because he sucked on a shotgun in the end (be it by his own hand, the mafia or the CIA, we’ll never know). Today I want to explore book writing. If you want to write a book, don’t. Unless you’re ready to face every demon, weakness and mental frailty you have. Because they will all be tested. I promise you. The Truth Be Told The truth be told, writing takes its toll, though. Every book I’ve ever been involved with (either writing or editing … just over 33 now) was like giving birth (I’m not qualified to say that, of course) without any pain medication, protracted labour in a fetid French gutter reminiscent of the great book, Perfume: The Story of A Murderer by Patrick Süskind. All authors I know went through something like this: My writing is shit I’m shit This is hard I hate it I hate myself I awesome I’m magnificent Who am I kidding I want to kill myself (just like Ernest Hemingway, Virginia Wolf, Hunter S. Thompson, Sylvia Plath and Yukio Mishima, amongst others). Who wants to read this crap This is self-indulgent My life is boring I’m boring I hate my editor … she eviscerated me I want that piece in it’s my best work … don’t take it out … nooo (Kill your darlings) I have nothing more to say and I’ve only written 20 000 words. Is this really my philosophy. I sound like a raving lunatic What if people don’t like it What if they hate it What if I only sell 10 I want to belong I want to be heard I’m scared I don’t want to be heard. I want to hide I’m so lazy. I watched Netflix the whole day instead of writing I’m lazy I’m useless My life’s a waste I want to throw the book in the dustbin I wish I could write like Margaret Atwood (no, shit, so do I) This book’s not good enough I’m not good enough I will be persecuted If this resonates so far, cut and paste and read the full article