Welcome to the September 4th edition of Faith & Life Lessons.
You will see this email full of tidbits from my week. My goal is simple. I hope that from how I live my life, you can find a thing or two that helps you as you try to live a life that matters. I am always trying to do one thing - make Christ-focused decisions in love, work, and life. And this was my week.
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The Story of My Week
This was a week of varied experiences.
Mostly made up of so many things I am still pushing to get at.
Professionally & personally.
It can be challenging to keep at it.
But that is what life requires.
Get up every day and not hold back until the result shows up.
This is my commitment to every new day.
God blesses every work.
So, I'll keep working on them.
Things I Learnt
1 - When the Kids Grow Themselves: One of the things I learnt throughout my parenting journey is to not stop kids from expressing their emotions - even when they make a fuss doing it and seemingly countermand what you just told them to do.
Growing up, if we were crying, we were told to stop crying. Maybe it was our parents' way of convincing us that we were on board with what they were saying.
I have decided to adopt an alternative approach. Let my kid do all the emotional release and come to the realisation that while crying is good for the soul but it ain't gonna change daddy's mind.
Something came up this week that highlighted this.
At the beginning of summer, during a visit to our regular family supermarket, our son had seen a toy he really wanted.
As parents, we decided we were going to make him work for it. So, we told him he would get paid for tasks until he earned enough to buy the toy.
He earned a bit of money but we kinda didn't push the work-for-pay model well. My wife said she didn't want him to get the sense that he was going to be paid for doing regular tasks that come with being a member of the family.
Well, last weekend, we went to the shop and he didn't see the toy where they initially placed it. I was somewhere else in the store when he went crying to his mother.
When I met up with them, I told him I know where the toy was in the shop. Ahead of the back-to-school display, they had rearranged the toys.
He saw the toy and was happy he could still get it but he raised an issue about not earning much in recent times.
My wife advised that we better buy the toy and keep it so they don't run out of it when we want to buy it.
The next day I did that and hid it in another room in the house.
Later in the week, I had to fix something in the wardrobe of that room, our son come to look for me and voila, he sees the toy.
He wants it and he thinks he can have it since it's in the house.
This is where I do a little parenting jiu-jitsu.
At his school, there are about 10 booklets that he needs to be able to read through for the session.
I told him, he'll get the toy once he can read 3 of the booklets.
And that's when my son starts to play reruns of "The Negotiator".
He starts with "3 is too long", "let's do 2" and the like.
Finally, he tells me "this is making me sad, I want to cry" and he starts crying.
I tell him if he wants to cry he can go and cry in his room.
He goes there for a bit and comes back.
The first thing he tells me when he comes back is "you said 3, not 4 right?"
And with that, he gets with the program.
3 booklets and the toy is his.
He cried and stopped crying - all by himself.
And he can back with his own sense of resolve.
It's a wonderful world.
2 - Order Your World: I had an interesting visit at work this week. A client due to personal reasons had pulled out from buying an apartment in one of our projects.
She was visiting to get an update on the refund of her deposit.
Nothing unusual about that.
What happened during the meeting was unusual.
She was feeling very cathartic as she went through the difficult highlights of her life.
Let me give you the short version. She had gotten her dream job - a gig with an international global agency, invested her life into it and committed herself to help people.
The downside of it was that she had neglected a couple of vital life relationships. Top of the list was her body - now she was battling with health issues.
There were other issues she told me about which I shall keep to myself.
But I could see a bit of what I had gone through in the past.
She had a flaw I had experienced and won over. It's called the Messiah Complex.
I asked if she was open to listening to a few thoughts from me - a recovered "messiah complex" sufferer.
She graciously accepted.
After I shared my thoughts I asked if I could pray with her. She said acquiesced and we prayed. I prayed for her and she prayed for me.
I hope she pulls through as she walks into the next season of her life.
To make sure I don't fall for the messiah complex again, I dug deep and created a personal framework to order my life.
Once I got it working for myself, I put it together in a 30-minute training which I have continue to give out for free.
You can access it here (no email sign-up required).
Just 30 minutes of training into 3 short videos. There is an option for you to download audio alone. It's up to you.
Take it as my investment to make sure you don't fall into the Messiah Complex.
Postscript
May you never grow in self-importance to want to play the role of Jesus and save the world. Only one man could do it. May you find contentment even in a small part in helping the next person to you. Amen
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Tola - The Everyday Disciple
I help Christians like you who want to live intentional lives incorporate their faith into everyday life so they can make Christ focused decisions in all areas of life and truly live to make an impact and make God happy.
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