Welcome to the November 13th edition of Faith & Life Lessons.
You will see this email full of tidbits from my week. My goal is simple. I hope that from how I live my life, you can find a thing or two that helps you as you try to live a life that matters. I am always trying to do one thing - make Christ-focused decisions in love, work, and life. And this was my week.
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The Story of My Week
God answers our prayers.
But not in the ways we asked.
I had a deja vu of some sort along this line during the week.
A few months back, I was hoping I could get some "kick-in-the-behind" relationships to move me faster at work.
It was my desire and prayer.
This is one of the challenges of starting from ground zero in a new country where there are no existing personal or professional relationships.
Add to it, the language differences mean it may take longer to establish that sort of relationship.
The kind of relationship where I can talk about actual challenges at work and know if it is a safe space to be kicked into action and not cuddled to complacency.
God answered my prayers.
But not by giving me the relationships I asked for.
Rather, I got into meetings with people who understood my business very well and was asked why certain things had not been completed.
I decided to maximize this opportunity.
I didn't defend myself.
Why?
For people like that, any reasons would be seen as excuses.
I told myself "the only response to this is delivering on what I said."
I came back from the meetings with fire in my bones.
And it showed in the things I kicked in gear at work.
Perhaps I should make this a regular trip I take.
Yes, I had to travel to get kicked in the head.
And now I am considering making it either a quarterly or at least a bi-annual thing.
Sometimes, paying for what matters is how I deliver what matters.
Things I Learnt
1-Distracted to Miss out: We had a group reunion call with my spiritual director. He and his wife had acted as mentors to a number of us.
The husband works with guys while the wife works with ladies.
As part of the call, they also brought their mentors to the meeting to speak.
The call went into the night and I decided to work on a couple of other things which I thought should take priority.
I signed out and came back when I was sure I could be more participative.
At the end of the talk, their mentors asked if we had any questions
I felt like I had undercut myself.
Because I was not part of the whole call, I did not have questions I could ask.
One of their mentors is a well-known seminary chancellor, pastor emeritus, editor and author. I had known of him through his books before the meeting and listened to other podcast interviews done with him.
It would have been a great opportunity to get some insights based on what he shared during the meeting.
But I couldn't because I let the routine distract me from the unique.
I told myself afterwards "I will always remember to re-arrange the routine so that it doesn't distract from the unique."
Next time I'll do better.
2-The Past as a Leverage for new Relationships: My wife had a conversation on a line I use now and again when I meet people at church.
After the usual introduction, I typically add, "we are from Nigeria but we used to live in Barcelona."
I only use this line for Caucasians.
Why?
It's a way of establishing a deeper connection.
Now and again, once I add that line, you can see the light in their eyes. It's kind of like they think "these guys might understand where I am coming from or my previous life experiences."
I recall a conversation my wife was having with a European lady. When she expressed the difficulties in doing simple things like shopping - it was a lightbulb moment for her. Hearing someone else who understood her was reassuring.
I don't use that line for my other African folks.
The fact that I am Nigerian is a simple connection point already. Being African means we understand the struggles and experiences that we all carry.
I recall a conversation with an East African about the perception of the good life back home just because you are living as an expatriate. But nobody glimpses the stress you go through not having family support for you to handle the children or just when you need a break from life.
We connected more because I have been through that and continue to go through it.
And that's how I frame my past.
As tools to extend the frontiers of how far a new relationship can go.
Postscript
May you see the events of your life as God sees them. May you see them as God's tools to make you a better person. For the glory of His Name. Amen
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Tola - The Everyday Disciple
I help Christians like you who want to live intentional lives incorporate their faith into everyday life so they can make Christ focused decisions in all areas of life and truly live to make an impact and make God happy.
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