Welcome to the May 1st edition of Faith & Life Lessons.
You will see this email full of tidbits from my week. My goal is simple. I hope that from how I live my life, you can find a thing or two that helps you as you try to live a life that matters. I am always trying to do one thing - make Christ-focused decisions in love, work, and life. And this was my week.
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The Story of My Week
My church celebrated Mother’s Day today.
Nothing flamboyant was done - just an acknowledgment of the special ministry of mothers.
The pastor led a prayer that I had never heard said on a Mother’s Day Sunday.
It was one of the most special prayers I have ever heard.
Amid all the joy of mothering, he prayed for those who have experienced some of the painful emotions in the motherhood stories.
These include wives waiting after years and still hoping to have their kids, women with children who died before they had the opportunity to grow, women who lost pregnancies and so many other emotions.
Mentioning all those experiences were touching - it is something we must not forget.
Amid the joy, we must not forget those who still carry the pain.
As a church, we must learn to carry the two and honor both experiences.
It was Mother's Day with a difference for me.
Thanks, Pastor.
Things I Learnt
1-A Family Can Create a New Culture: I was discussing with someone from another country about a house design. It was a bit unusual from what I was familiar with.
The apartment was part of a multi-apartment building with about 5 levels. It was on the 4th floor.
The design had the apartment occupying the 4th and 5th floor.
This is where it gets different.
On the 4th floor, it had the sleeping areas and sitting room - 4 bedrooms (3 en-suite), a kitchenette, visitors restroom, sitting room, and dining room.
It had internal stairs leading to the 5th floor. This is where the fun begins.
The 5th floor had a huge kitchen, a bedroom with conveniences attached, and an expansive terrace.
I wondered why the main kitchen was on another floor.
It was then she told me about the culture of the people.
In the culture, the kitchen is kept away from the rest of the house because of the cooking smell.
No problem with that.
The bigger deal was the next thing she said. The kitchen is seen as the exclusive preserve of the women.
The lady told me that she even still gets resistance from her mother-in-law when she asks her boys to join her in the kitchen.
She had to make it clear to her that the boys need to help out as she can't care for the family all by herself.
By the way, the boys are 18, 15 & 9 - so they are big and strong to help out.
She was creating a new culture - something her daughters-in-law will appreciate in the future.
She was not allowing the culture outside to define the culture in her family.
By defining a new family culture, she was creating a new culture for the outside.
2-When Touching Changes a Life: During a quick call with a coach/mentor in the week, he shed light a something I didn't think much about in the past.
He had sent an email earlier in the week where he mentioned in passing that he was a Certified touch therapist aka Cuddlist.
I had seen a video in the past advertising this some years back and I thought it was unreliable at best.
He took time to explain it.
According to him, this was a part of his business that went into hiatus during the COVID pandemic. He needed to touch to do it.
He told me about his approach to doing this.
His clients are mostly couples. And it's usually because one of the spouses asks for it.
He has two working principles - the other spouse must sign off on it and must be present during his therapy sessions.
Then he told me about a client he worked with.
It was the husband that had asked for him.
The family had been attacked by armed robbers. At one point, they wanted to rape their daughter. The wife offered herself instead.
After the whole event, things were not good between the husband and the wife.
She would not even let the husband touch her - not to talk about getting intimate with him.
According to him, logically she knew there was nothing her husband could do (if he fought, they would have shot and killed him). But emotionally, she had wanted him to save her.
Eventually through his "cuddle sessions", she was able to accept touch.
He taught the husband how to "touch" his wife.
She eventually became open to him and their marriage recovered the intimacy they had lost.
Everything he said puts a whole new perspective on it.
I guess it's a case of different people requiring different therapy.
I learn something new every day.
Postscript
May your heart never be closed to the knowledge filling the earth. May the wisdom of Jesus in you help you to redeem such knowledge so it can be used to glorify Him. Amen
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Tola - The Everyday Disciple
I help Christians like you who want to live intentional lives incorporate their faith into everyday life so they can make Christ focused decisions in all areas of life and truly live to make an impact and make God happy.
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