Oh hello,

Welcome to this weeks Flourish Mama email! Today, I'm here to talk about the invisible load, also known as the mental load.

Is this a term you are familiar with? Basically, the invisible load encompasses all those thankless tasks that you do as a Mama because, love, PLUS all of the to-do-lists, worries, hopes, plans, fears and more that are scrambling around in your head.

As a Mum, it is natural to worry about your kids, your partner, the family, whether that insurance bill got paid on time, if its canteen day at school tomorrow, how you can juggle work to attend that basketball game your eldest is playing in.... And on and on and on and on it rolls. This endless stream of thoughts can be exhausting and can even impact on your ability to get a good night's sleep.

Do you feel a little crushed under the weight of all this mental activity chasing itself round in your head?

How can you ease the invisible load? Share it?

If you have a partner, start by having a discussion with them. They may not even realise you are physically keeping everything afloat, plus keeping mental tabs on all the things. See if you can specifically and fairly share out the parenting and household chores load. For example, can your partner take over the meal planning? Or perhaps they could take on responsibility for getting the kids to soccer practise every week. See if you can balance the responsibilities out between you.

Keep a shared electronic calendar that you both have access to and both check daily. Or if you prefer a physical calendar, get a whiteboard planner that sets out the weekly family appointments and things, plus who is undertaking them.

If you are feeling particularly overwhelmed, try writing down everything that is buzzing around in your head. Sometimes it can help to get it all written down and on paper, rather than trying to keep track of it in your mind. And have a good vent with a trusted friend!

If your family finances allow, see if there are certain tasks (lawn mowing, house cleaning, healthy meal deliveries) that you can outsource. If that's not possible, can you collaborate with friends to give each other a break? For example, alternate play dates at each others houses once a week or each family choose a few meals to batch prep and then swap some for variety.

Have you felt the pressure of the invisible load? What things help you to give yourself a break? Hit reply and let me know!

And breathe....

Michelle

Flourish Mama