Mamas,

How many times have you said yes to something and then regretted it, mere moments later? As Mums we often feel that we need to be all things to all people we care about. We say yes to things we might not really want to do, because that shows just how much we truly care, right?

Does it really though?

Pushing yourself to the brink of exhaustion and attending an event whilst hating every minute of it, is that really a good way to connect with someone you love? Forcing yourself to play endless hours of pretend games with your kid when you'd rather eat your own arm off - are you actually giving your kids the attention they are craving at this point? Or is it just exhausting your already depleted reserves, meaning when it comes to reading and snuggles at bedtime (which you actually love) you're so over it that you just want your child to GO. THE FUCK. TO SLEEP.

These might not be the exact examples from your life, but can you see the idea I'm trying to get across? When you say yes to something that you really know you don't have time to attend or that will actually just increase your levels of anxiety, stress and frustration, you are definitely not giving that person your best.

It would be better for everyone to give a polite and honest, no thanks.

What might that look like? Well, a conversation with one of your besties might go like this:

Friend: "Hey, I'd love it if you could come to that new small bar in the city for drinks on Wednesday night, say, 8pm?"

You (frantically thinking OMG, 8pm on a Wednesday, I'll be bloody exhausted before I even get there): "That sounds amazing, I'd be no use to you at that time on a Wednesday though. I'd probably fall asleep face first in my margarita! What about a Saturday afternoon sometime?"

Or a connected response to your kiddo might sound like this:

Child: "Muuuum! Come and play shops with meeeee! Noooooow, please!!"

You (rolling your eyes and thinking ugh, I hate playing shops and I really need to organise that dental appointment): "Wow, shops! That sounds so fun! I can't right now, how about we snuggle up and read a book together after you've set up your shop?"

The power of saying no, means you are able to give true, connected attention to your loved ones at other times, because you'll feel less frazzled and snappy. Why will you feel less frazzled and snappy? Because you won't have been forcing yourself to engage in activities that drain your limited energy supplies!

What do you think? Are you a chronic, people pleasing, just say yes kinda Mum? Might be time to re think that!

Hit reply and let me know if you can relate to this email!

Until next time,

Michelle

Flourish Mama