Hi ~

This is the account of my interaction with a friend who wants hope to be offered to others. She gladly gave her permission.

Not too long ago this friend, who had experienced childhood trauma, asked me if I had any suggestions for help with a constant low-level anxiety. She had learned a few coping skills such as tapping, which helped some, but wanted to know if I knew of something more.

I told her that when I experience low-level anxiety and can't pinpoint the reason, I picture myself reaching into the back of my brain and bringing something forward.

"Would you show me what this is, Lord?" I pray.

I suggested that my friend start with a safe and peaceful memory, and from that place, ask the Lord that question.

"Huh," she said. "The word that comes to me is loneliness. But I'm not lonely. I'm very content with my life."

Together we asked the Lord what that meant.

Immediately she began to describe the memories of pain--not the pain inflicted by the original abusive family members--but the pain inflicted by the extended family and the church who ignored and shamed and blamed, which she described as far more painful.

As she continued to talk, I helped her put more words to what she had experienced.

Betrayal. Abandonment. Isolation. Erasing.

All encompassed in that deep word loneliness.

I said, "You've described your feelings as anxiety. But I think perhaps we can also put the word grief to it. You're carrying a heavy burden of grief."

She continued to describe the great pain she was grieving, huge, heavy pain from very real and terrible actions that never should happen to a person who was simply trying to stay safe from abuse.

"Really there's no one left in my life except my husband. I'm so thankful for him, and I'm scared I'm going to lose him."

I expressed compassion, but we didn't want to leave it there. "This grief is a heavy burden. Too heavy for you to carry alone. It's affecting your health."

"Yes, yes it is."

"Would you be willing to ask Jesus to hold this heavy burden of grief for you? He won't berate you for having it. He won't treat it as ridiculous or meaningless. He'll hold it compassionately and treat it with respect. He knows it's too heavy for you."

"Yes, yes, I'm giving it to Him now." She gave that heavy burden to Jesus.

As we continued to discuss, she said, "I don't feel the pain of it now. I can talk about these things, and I don't feel like I'm going to go into a panic attack any second. I can't usually talk about these things even to my husband because the pain is so great. But I'm not feeling it right now. Jesus is holding it."

Certainly pain from years of childhood trauma and the pain and betrayal of losing an entire community will rarely be resolved in one prayer time together.

But when we ask our Lord Jesus to enter into the pain and grief with us, we can find that He can offer significant help and hope on the journey to wholeness.

Standing with you in hope,

Rebecca

Untwisting Scriptures at heresthejoy.com

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