Hi ~

I’ve been to family court or probate court a few times with friends, but I’ve been to criminal court only once.

It was with a family in 2012, and an abuser was being charged with abuse. He had held his family on a veritable concentration camp for 25 years before they escaped.

I learned a lot in that criminal court trial.

Like, that victims can’t talk about the abuse of the last 25 years, only about the ONE incident that precipitated the trial.

That abusers can often look a lot more put together in front of a judge than their victims do.

That people who sit on juries aren’t educated as to how to cut through the fog, so abusers very often go free.

But there was one noteworthy aspect of this criminal court case gone wrong.

When the jury was being sworn in, I recognized one of the men as a friend of my husband’s.

I went home to tell my husband about it, and after the trial, he met with “Jack.”

Tim explained the whole situation to Jack—after all, this family whose abuser was on trial had been in our lives for the last five years, and we knew their story very well.

Jack was astonished. All he knew was what he saw before him in the courtroom. He had no idea what all had been transpiring on that concentration camp for 25 years, much of it with a significant amount of evidence.

Jack was not a bad man. He was not inclined to side with abusers. He simply didn’t know what he didn’t know.

So the “not guilty” decree was held over the head of my friend by others who didn’t know (or maybe were inclined to side with abusers).

All of this was part of my training in the dynamics of abuse.

Jack may have had an excuse for his ignorance. But in the church there is no excuse, really.

Not only does the Bible lay out significant aspects about abuse, quite clearly. But also since 2012, a tremendous amount of resource material has been produced to help cut through the fog, even material directed specifically at church leaders and other church people.

Now, pastors and other leaders can become well educated about the dynamics of abuse. So if they ever sit in a place of judgment (which, rightly or wrongly, indeed they do), they can judge aright.

My question for you: What Christian, Biblically-based books, seminars, or other resource material would you recommend to Christian leaders who want to be educated on abuse and not fall prey to the lies, the way Jack and the other jurors did?

Could you add a line to each resource you would recommend for them, to tell me why you recommend it?

I would love to hear from you about this. Thank you!

With you for helping others cut through the fog,

Rebecca

Untwisting Scriptures at heresthejoy.com

See my Untwisting Scriptures series

P.S. I’ll go first. Speaking Truth in Love Ministries holds trainings at churches to help them understand the dynamics of abuse and God’s heart toward the victims. I collaborated with Dale on his book Tear Down This Wall of Silence: Dealing with Sexual Abuse in Our Churches. I’m happy to say that since 2014, when I joined the STIL advisory board, the number of requests for Dale and Faith to come speak has greatly increased.

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