Buckle up, this is a wild one. It’s got daddy issues, and an encounter with a literal (and metaphorical) bear.

(If you’re not in the mood for a story, you can skip down to the recent releases at the bottom)

I’ve always felt that I was carrying a weight that I inherited from my dad. This dark feeling that I’ve always wanted to numb and avoid. This thing that makes me want to retreat into myself instead of looking outward into the world around me.

It was years before I understood that he had been given this by his father. I can only imagine that it goes back deep into our family history. It’s a bit of a family heirloom that I never wanted to inherit.

I shared all of this with a mentor two weeks ago, and he asked if I was ready to try setting it down. I told him yes, and he gave me an odd assignment:

He told me to go into the woods and find a stone to represent this weight, bring it back home, and feed it. After 4 days, he told me to take it back into the woods, and bury it.

I gave him the same confused look you’re probably giving me now.

He went on to explain that, in his experience, when we carry a weight like that through life, it’s usually something that used to serve us that we’ve outgrown. But instead of setting it down, we ignore it and try to push it away.

So he was asking that I just externalize this weight, give it the attention it was asking for, and then go literally bury it in the woods.

Fair enough.

So I sheepishly wandered into the woods, sat by the stream, and found a rock. I brought it home, set it outside and began to feed it.

I know it was my imagination, but by the end of the week when I picked up the rock again (I know I overshot by a few days), it felt heavier. It felt like I had pulled this weight out of my heart, and placed it in my hand.

So I carried the stone across town and back into the woods. I wanted to find the right place to lay this to rest, so I continued along the path until I came across someone that warned me about a bear up ahead.

While black bears are common in this area, I naturally felt some trepidation about intentionally encountering one. But then something fascinating happened. I felt the stone in my hand, and realized it could protect me.

In that moment, the stone felt like it was actually something that my dad had given to me to protect myself, and that the bear was everything in the world he was trying to protect me from.

My father has always lived his life in fear of the world around him. I have never felt the same way, but for the first time, I actually understood that this had been a thoughtful gift even if it was misguided.

So I continued ahead, stone in hand, looking for the bear.

A few minutes later, I saw it up the hill watching me.

I stopped, turned towards it, and we made eye contact.

We held each other‘s gaze for several seconds, and it went back to sniffing around completely unbothered by my presence. I stood there, holding this metaphor for my burden, locking eyes with this metaphor for all the things we fear in the world.

Then I continued on my way.

About a mile later, I got to a burn scar that I have been watching the plants reclaim over the past two years. I tromped through the young underbrush, dug a small hole with my hands, and laid the stone in the ground.

I sat for a long time, thinking about what I had done. I didn’t believe that my pain would be gone forever, but I was unable to deny that I had made progress in standing upright and walking through it instead of shrinking away.

Then it occurred to me that there was still a fucking bear in the path that I now had to go back down without this stone to protect me. But I also realized I didn’t feel the need to be protected anymore.

So I walked back home.

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If you hadn’t gathered, these last few months have been a lot. I’ve done a lot of growing in good ways and in painful ones. This feels like as good a summary as I know how to write.

I appreciate you taking a moment to read this, and I’d love to share some of the things that I’ve been working on.

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Found - Strings Version

Thomas LaVine was one of the first artists with a following to trust me as a string player. That’s why I was so excited when he was the first person to ask me to do an alternate version of one of his recent releases using only strings. It was such a challenge and a joy to make this, and I can’t wait to work on more string versions in the future.

Never Felt That

Official Shannon is a new artist from the UK, and has an unbelievably powerful voice. Think full-on diva with melismas for days. This song deserves all of the BBC radio play it’s been getting!

Ordinary Sea

This is the 3rd song I’ve produced for J.B. Boone, and I’m constantly amazed at his vision. I feel fortunate that he trusts me to help him bring these to life. I played some background guitar, piano, cello, bass, and did mountains of editing and tweaking to get this one right. If you want to hear my work in a totally different context than usual, this song is worth a listen!

Love Music More Interview

I did a fun interview recently where we talked about my journey, love of music, and how AI is changing the industry.

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In the works…

1. I just got approval on what I think is going to be my next Billboard #1, that should be coming out sometime this winter.
2. I got to write and record strings for a project with a huge artist in the UK from the 2010s. (Their album spent weeks at #1 on the UK charts, and peaked at 25 on the Billboard hot 100). Can't wait to share more info.
3. After several years of networking and growing this business myself, I’m working with a marketing agency to launch my first real ad campaign! My hope is that this will allow me to find new clients more easily so that I can spend more time focused on writing, recording, and practicing.

Phew. It had been a while, so this was a long one. As always, I’m grateful to have you here. If you or anyone you know is looking to get strings on a song, now’s a good time to talk. With this ad campaign launching I have no idea what the next few months will look like, but I suspect it will be busy!

Hope all is well.

Talk soon,

Harley