When we give people Misleading Perceptions about ourselves, it causes them to see us in a certain light. The way they see us might be different from our true selves, which can lead to them treating or viewing us poorly.

Maybe you’re a very strong person, but you walk with your head down, giving people the perception that you’re weak. Perhaps you’re a confident individual, but you don’t speak with confidence, so people see you as being unconfident.

Whatever misleading perception you have created within others about yourself, you can start to change it by owning up to the way you present yourself and start behaving in a way that is true to your identity. This is something that Chris, a teenager I met had to do in order to change the misleading perception he projected of himself to others.

TEEN'S MISLEADING PERCEPTION

Several months ago, I was substitute teaching at a school. There was a teenager, named Chris, who was really slim with curly brown hair. He walked out of the cafeteria and yelled "She being a Bi$%#" about one of the teachers. He walked down the hall and, 5 minutes later, I saw him walking back towards the cafeteria.

Although I knew his name from having him in class, I'd never had a conversation with him. So, I was surprised when he said, "What's up Mr. Mosley? How are you?" I replied, "I'm doing well. How is your day going?"

"It's terrible! All these teachers and coaches are being unfair to me. They treat me as if I'm a bad kid, and I'm not. They don't understand me." I asked, "Have you tried talking to any of them, so they can understand you?" "No! I don't want to talk to them." "No! I don't want to talk to them." "If you don't talk to them, how will they be able to understand you? That makes no sense."

IS HE A BAD KID?

Chris stopped and turned to face me. I said, "Let’s have a conversation so that I can understand you myself because we’ve never talked before. Let me make sure I’m getting this right—you said teachers think you are a bad kid and don’t understand you. Well, I’m not one of those teachers because I have never had an issue with you in class, so that’s an indicator that you are giving a misleading perception to myself or others." He asked, looking confused, "What do you mean by misleading perception?"

What I mean is that you are giving off the perception that you are a bad kid when you aren't. As far as I'm concerned, you aren't bad. Am I correct?" "You are, I'm not a bad kid at all." "That means you're giving others a misleading perception of the kind of person you are, and you'll have to take responsibility for that." "But how am I doing that?" He asked.

GUILTY SMILE LEADS TO CHANGE

"Let me show you. Earlier, I was near the restrooms when you left the cafeteria and called a teacher the B-word." He looked at me with a guilty smile. I continued by asking, "So if I were a teacher who had never seen you before, would you have given off the perception of being a good kid or a bad one?" Chris stopped smiling and said, "A bad one."

"Chris, even though we both agree that you aren't a bad person, you are behaving in a way that makes it seem like you are. So, if you want teachers to have a better perception of you, you need to take responsibility for how you act. You need to change the behaviors that are giving you a negative perception with others. "Now I understand what you mean by misleading perceptions, Mr. Mosley. I will focus on changing the behaviors that have teachers thinking I'm bad."

3 WAYS TO CHANGE MISLEADING PERCEPTION

"I'm glad to hear that, Chris. There are three things I encourage you to do that will help you be successful in changing your perception. The first thing is to speak positively and respectfully towards and about others. The second thing is to take the time to talk to people and explain your perspective, like you just did with me. The third is to be mindful of the perception you are giving off."

Just like Chris, we’re all guilty of giving off misleading perceptions of ourselves in some areas of our lives. That's why I want to challenge you, as I've challenged myself, to take responsibility for those areas and focus on changing the behaviors that are associated with them, so you can stop giving off a misleading perception because You Are WORTHY TO BE GREAT!