Are you acting off a BASKET of EMOTIONS?

Oct 17, 2022 2:01 pm

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audio version of this Newsletter

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Managing our emotions is a significant key in taking responsibility for our greatness. If we allow our emotions to rule our lives, they can prevent us from taking the actions necessary for our personal growth or cause us to behave in ways that we will regret. Just by the mention of emotions and regret in the same sentence makes me think back to my teenage years when I had a summer job working at a store.


One day at the Supermarket, my manager came to me and said “Gene I need you to go to the front of the store and sack groceries.” I walked to the front of the store and started sacking groceries and then Ms. Cathy, a gray-haired 60-year-old lady who was the manager of another department walked up to me and said, "Gene I need you to stop what you are doing and come with me to the parking lot.” “But my manager told me to sack groceries.” “I understand that but I need you. Let’s go!”


I stopped sacking groceries and I followed Ms. Cathy. I was a little concerned because it was rumored that Ms. Cathy was a manager that no one wanted to work for because she was lazy. We stepped out of the store, and stood in the sun's scorching heat, as we gazed at the hundreds of shopping carts scattered across the football field sized parking lot. “Gene, we need to get all the shopping carts and bring them to the front of the store for customers. Go ahead and get started getting baskets, and I’ll be out there to help you in a minute.”


I walked to the end of the lot, connected 10 sets of baskets and I pushed each to the front of the store for customers. Ms. Cathy sat on a bench in front of the store and smoked cigarettes and drank coke. The sight of this angered me and the dehydration I was experiencing from the sun’s heat wasn't helping either.


After taking over 100 baskets to the front station, I started walking into the store, so I could get some water. Ms. Cathy shouted in front of customers, “Gene, where are you going?” “I’m going inside to get some water and cool down.” “Not just yet, go get the baskets that the customers just left in the parking lot.” I looked at her in disbelief because she had been sitting the entire time. I went and got the baskets then I started walking into the store. She stopped me again and said, “Gene, before you go into the store, get those few baskets real quick.” 


My heart started pounding with rage, I looked at Ms. Cathy and yelled, “YOU GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND GET THEM YOURSELF YOU OLD HAG!” Customers gasped as Ms. Cathy looked at me in shock. She got up, walked into the store and reported me to the store’s head manager. I got written up for verbally abusing a manager and displaying unprofessional conduct in front of customers. I only had myself to blame because I reacted off a Basket of Emotions. 


Making emotional decisions doesn't lead to optimal outcomes. That is why it's important that we rule over our emotions with logical decisions. Had I made a logical decision of reporting Ms. Cathy's lack of work to the store's head manager, the outcome would have been different.


I'm sure you also have experienced times when you have acted off a Basket of Emotions and you are probably puzzling over the question that haunted me for many years, "Why do we initially want to make emotional decisions?" I want to answer this question and give you ways you can avoid making emotional decisions. But to do so, we must discuss one of my favorite superheros and how he aligns with parts of our brain.


The Incredible Hulk is my favorite superhero, and he is perfect for explaining the two parts of the brain that deal with our decision-making. The Amygdala and Prefrontal Cortex.


Let’s say that the Angry Hulk is the Amygdala and the scientist Bruce Banner, who is the calm human form of the Hulk, is the Prefrontal Cortex. If you have ever seen any of the Hulk cartoons or movies, you know that someone or something has to trigger the logical thinking Bruce Banner. When it does, he morphs into the Angry Hulk. This angry monster is incapable of thinking logically because he is driven by emotion which often leads to him making emotional decisions that Bruce Banner regrets.


Aware of this, Bruce does everything he can to keep himself from getting angry. For example, he once created a watch that would alert him to calm down when his emotions were trying to control him. He does this by engaging in deep breathing and focusing on anything that will keep the Hulk from being unleashed. The goal is to keep Bruce Banner, the Prefrontal Cortex, at the forefront of his decision-making.


This is significant because the Prefrontal Cortex is the part of our brain that is responsible for us making logical decisions. You use this part of your brain most of the time and for you to continue doing so, when someone or something triggers your Basket of Emotions, you can do the following.


Take deep breaths and count down from 10 while saying logic between each count. For example, 10-logic, 9-logic, 8-logic. I call this the Count-Down-Logic Breathing Technique. This can help you calm yourself down when you are triggered, so you can avoid making an emotional decision. Note: I recommend you use the word logic just to further remind yourself to make a logical decision.



BASKET OF EMOTIONS QUESTIONS:


To give you an opportunity to practice the Count-Down-Logic Breathing Technique, answer the questions, so you can start preparing yourself to respond logically instead of reacting emotionally in stressful situations. 


  1. Write down a time in your life that you made an emotional decision.
  2. Why did you react that way?
  3. What were the consequences of your actions?
  4. What is the preferred outcome you would like to have if put in a similar situation? 
  5. List other situations that have triggered you to act emotionally.  



My Self-Discipline Action Step(s)


Take 2-3 of the situations you listed above and visualize yourself in those situations. Practice responding logically with the Count-Down-Logic Breathing Technique, so you can control your Basket of Emotions because You Are WORTHY TO BE GREAT!



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