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Have you ever caught yourself trying to be someone else? You do so because you feel lost, so you try to mold yourself to an image portrayed on television, in music or in the people you associate with.

This leads to frustration because you're not sure what you're supposed to be doing on this earth. This is the journey we all go through when we are trying to discover ourselves. It's a journey that I call the "Journey To Being Yourself". I'm familiar with this journey because I spent a huge part of my life on it. It was a journey that began when I was a kid dealing with my daddy abandoning the family.

During my journey, I would see people in my hood and try to be like them. I would try to mold myself to duplicate their persona any way I could. One particular individual, whom we will call Billy, was a person I really wanted to emulate. He was a great athlete that everyone looked up to when he spoke. And I wanted to be just like him. So when Billy got some new shoes, I tried to get shoes like Billy. Billy got some new pants, and I tried to get new pants like Billy. I was trying my best to be Billy. I even chose the High School I went to because Billy decided to go there.

I'll never forget the day my high school basketball coach challenged us about the importance of being ourselves. During his speech, Coach Tate put me on the spot. He said, "One thing you guys don't want to do is what Gene is doing. He looks up to Billy, so whatever Billy does, he does.

If Billy shoots the basketball a certain way, Gene will shoot it that way If Billy dribbles the ball a certain way, Gene will dribble that way. I'm going to tell Gene like I'm telling the rest of you guys. Stop trying to be like someone else and be yourself." Although Coach embarrassed me, I didn't listen until I took notice of one particular incident.

Billy was prone to doing crazy things and because I wanted to be like him, I would join him. If Billy stole a car, I would go riding in the car with him. One day, Billy stole a car, and I was not with him. I'm grateful I wasn't because he got caught and went to jail. Another friend and I decided to go see him in jail, and it was at that moment I had reservations about my willingness to follow Billy.

I thought that Billy would be sad because he was locking him up; I was wrong. He came to the visitation window wearing an orange jumpsuit with a smile on his face. "It's CRUNK in here, fool! I'm loving it here!" He yelled with enthusiasm.

As I stared at him with a puzzled look on my face, I thought to myself, "Billy is excited about being in jail. There is no way I want to go to jail and if I were to, I wouldn't be excited about it." I decided at that moment I would no longer follow Billy because I realized he was crazy.

Basketball became my main focus and instead of me staying on the journey of being myself, I made the same mistake of trying to be someone else. There was this NBA basketball player that I admired named Stephon Marbury. To me, he was the best player on the planet.

Since I was physically built like Marbury and I kinda looked like him. I decided to try and mold my basketball game and appearance after him. One thing that was unique about Marbury was his hair cut. He would get a line cut through the middle of his head, so I went to the barber and got mine cut the same way.

When people would say, "You look and play like Marbury," it made me proud. I eagerly strived to be like Marbury, but time after time I failed to replicate his success. Ultimately, I had to face the truth that Marbury had a God-Given talent and physical prowess that allowed him to be an NBA basketball player. There was nothing I could do, regardless of how hard I tried, that would allow me to be just like him.

You could also be trying to become like someone else. You have a celebrity, family member, or friend you are trying to emulate, and this has resulted in you feeling discouraged and frustrated. The reason you feel that way is because you're trying to be someone other than yourself.

Those feelings can keep you from focusing on discovering your own God-Given talents and abilities because you spend so much of your time trying to live someone else's life. During my college basketball years, I got tired of individuals telling me I looked like and played like Marbury. It made me feel inauthentic, and I yearned to be myself.

My insecurities prompted me to ask myself this very challenging question "Gene, why do you think you are not good enough to be yourself?" It was certainly a tough question to ask, but I obtained a quick answer to myself the moment I realized the issue.

The reason why I kept on dealing with the notion of not being good enough was that I was allowing my father's abandonment to define me. I confronted the issue by calling my daddy and telling him that I loved him and I forgave him for leaving.

Forgiveness permitted me to see the nature of William B. Smeades's words, "Forgiveness is to set prison free, only to realize that prisoner was you." I had liberated myself from my thoughts of not being good enough and resumed my journey to being myself.

Perhaps you have someone you need to forgive. Maybe you need to forgive yourself. I don't know what issue it is for you, but I think it's important for you to also answer the question, "Why do you think you aren't good enough to be yourself?"

Taking the time to answer this question is engaging in the process of self-assessment, which is a deep and honest evaluation of your own emotions, attitudes and behaviors. Going through this process will allow you to find the reason you will have been struggling with being yourself. It will also provide you with an opportunity to discover your gifts and talents. Allowing yourself to reflect on your strengths and weaknesses will virtually remove distractions, so you can stay on the journey to being yourself.

During self-assessment, I discovered that I have the gift of storytelling. This gift has allowed me to become a great communicator in both speaking and writing. You have a gift as well, and it's something that you do naturally with the least amount of effort. The only way you're going to discover your gift is through self-assessment. After answering the question of why you struggle with being yourself, dealt with it, and discovered your gift, you will now have the challenge of embracing your uniqueness.

I say challenge because it's hard to embrace your uniqueness in a world that demands conformity. It's a lot easier to conform and fit in instead of being your authentic self. The fear of being judged, criticized, laughed at, or even ostracized knocks many of us off the journey to being ourselves. I'm not saying you have to discuss everything about your private life or your business with the entire world, but I'm saying you have to love and accept yourself if you want to be yourself.

You should recognize that improving some parts of yourself is your responsibility, and you must also understand that there'll always be certain facets of yourself you are incapable of changing. You will never be able to change your skin color, height, gifts, etc... and your acceptance of the things you cannot change will help you to stay on the journey to being yourself.

Breaking the cycle of attempting to be someone else takes a great deal of personal development work. Work that is required if you want to become your authentic self. That is why I encourage you to take the journey to becoming yourself, so you can utilize your gifts and talents to have the impact that you desire because You Are WORTHY TO BE GREAT!