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Are you suffering from YES Burnout? What I mean by this is that you are burning yourself out because of your constant “yes” to other people's agendas. You do this because you are a people pleaser, and you would rather please others than disappoint them. If this describes you, it's time to rid yourself of your YES Burnout! To help you do so, I'm going to share with you three tips that can help you Avoid the YES Burnout.

Ten years ago I was in charge of an exercise clinic for cancer survivors, and Ms. Smith, one of my patients, came up to me and asked "Gene would you be willing to come to my church this Sunday?" Though I had other plans I said "Yes." That Sunday, I arrived at the Church a little frustrated because I knew I had cancelled my original plans to please Ms. Smith.

When I walked into the church, she introduced me to her pastor, a man who weighed well over 300 pounds. He looked at me and said, "Hey man, Ms. Smith brags about how your program has helped her lose over 50 lbs. As you can see, my congregation and I can use your help. I would like for you to volunteer your time and do an aerobic class here at the Church for the next two months." I looked at the congregation, and it was filled with morbidly obese individuals and some of them had physical disabilities. I knew from an expertise and a legal standpoint there was no way I was going to be able to help all these people.

"Pastor, I am appreciative that you have so much confidence in me, but I'm going to have to say no." He looked at me sadly and asked "Why not?" Instead of me leaving things at that, I made a common mistake we all make, and that is giving an elaborate explanation. I began telling him the legal reasons I could not do it. I also made him aware of the potential time it would take to get all 200 of his members to get medical waivers signed by their Doctors before I could conduct their individual health assessments. Despite all my reasons for not doing it, he said "Man don't worry about all that stuff. I know we can't pay you, but you will be doing God's work."

Him linking me to doing a free aerobic class for his congregation without me preserving myself legally to God's work enraged me. I realized he was using religious manipulation, and I wasn't having it. "Sir, I said no. I'm not doing an aerobic class." "Ok, I understand. Welcome to our service." I was proud of myself for not giving into my temptation to say yes to please him. I assumed that was the end of that conversation, but I was wrong.

The Pastor decided to take it to another level by doing the unthinkable. He walked into the pulpit, got behind the microphone and said "We have a guest visiting us here today. He is the man who has helped our Sister Smith lose weight as she was going through her Cancer treatments. I was talking to him, and he is thinking about coming here and doing an aerobic program here at the Church for the next 2 months. I'll let Gene come up and tell you a little about it."

To say I was angry would be an understatement because I was furious. He waved at me to come up to the pulpit and I walked towards him thinking about all the crazy things I wanted to say. He handed me the microphone and I faced the congregation. I felt tremendous pressure to go along with what he said, but I knew if I did, I would have been aiding my own Yes Burnout.

Instead, I said to myself, "I'm going to stick to my no even if he gets mad." So I said, "It's true that I helped Ms. Smith as she was battling cancer, but what is not true is that I have been thinking about doing an aerobic program at your Church. I told your Pastor no when he asked me several minutes ago."

There was an awkward silence in the Church as many of the members stared at the Pastor. I handed the microphone back to him as he looked at me with angry eyes.

After the Church service, he walked up to me and said "I was a little embarrassed that you said that in front of the congregation." "That's not my fault, Sir. I told you no, and you decided to tell them I was thinking about doing an aerobic program. I only told them what I told you." I walked out of that Church with pride because I had avoided a Yes Burnout.

If you are tired of the YES Burnout in your life, and you want to avoid it. Here are 3 tips to help you:

1) Tell people no quickly, so you don't say yes to something that you know will eat up your valuable time and take away from your own agenda.

2) If you choose to give an explanation, make it short. Keep in mind that the more you explain yourself, the more others will doubt your no.

3) Stick with your no. Don't let others pressure you into giving into their agenda. If you reluctantly agree to people's request to please them, you will only have yourself to blame for the frustration you will experience during the performance of the task they ask you to do.

Challenging yourself to avoid the YES Burnout can be difficult when you have a heart to help and please others. This can make you feel selfish when you are trying to practice self-care.

But if you don't avoid the Yes Burnout, you will be depleted of all your time and resources and that can lead to fatigue, frustration, and bitterness. So I encourage you to use the three tips I shared with you to avoid the Yes Burnout because You Are WORTHY TO BE GREAT!