3 Proven Ways To Get Tough With Your Boundaries And Avoid Being A Pushover

She knows he's not supposed to be giving out muffins.

You say you have boundaries.

But what happens if those boundaries are tested?

Will you stand and defend them?

Or will you give in to people-pleasing like most?

I’m not accusing you of being someone who gives in easily.

But just in case you are, I have 3 proven ways to get tough with your boundaries.

Will you hold your ground even when others pressure you because you’re people-pleasing?

So the other day, I was substitute teaching at a school.

A teacher, who was a teacher in her early sixties, approximately 5’2" tall, with long brown hair, approached me.

She was holding a muffin and said, “Mr. Mosley, give this muffin to this student.”

“As a sub, it’s against district policies for me to hand a muffin, candy, or any food not given to them by the cafeteria staff to a student.”

“Well, the other subs give them food when I ask.”

“I’ve given my answer and its not changing.”

The teacher walked off and gave the student the muffin.

One of the other subs, who was a 29-year-old, very slim, with earrings pierced in his lips and ears, walked into the classroom.

He had been working with the teacher for several months because the job was vacant.

When we took the kids to the gym for P.E., I asked, “Have you been giving food to the students at the request of that teacher?”

“Yes, I have, and I know I’m not supposed to, but she pressures me to do so.”

“You need to set boundaries with her by telling her no when she asks you to do so, or else you will get yourself fired.”

Now, we both know it’s easier to tell someone to set a boundary, but if that person is used to being a pushover, it will be hard to enforce it.

“The next time she asks me to give the students food, I will tell her no so she can start respecting my boundaries.”

Let me be real with you: I could tell by the lack of confidence in his voice that he would give in the moment the teacher pressured him.

The good thing is, we got through the entire day without her asking him to give the kids food, so I did not have to witness him breaking any policies.

Well, the next day...

I received a text from that sub that said, “You won’t believe this.”

“Believe what?” I texted back.

“That teacher got in some trouble and, to take the blame off herself, she told the front office that I would not listen to her and I had been giving the kids candy.”

“So what happened?”

“I lost my job.”

You are most likely thinking what I thought: “That’s messed up.”

But I’m sure you will agree that he did it to himself because he chose to be a pushover instead of enforcing his boundaries.

You know, unfortunately, this is common.

People put themselves in bad situations because they let others erode their boundaries.

Once again, I’m not saying that is you.

But if you read this far, it just maybe is.

Either way.

Here are the 3 Proven Ways To Get Tough With Your Boundaries To Avoid Being A Pushover.

1. Be Direct and Assertive

When someone asks you to do something that goes against your boundaries and you say no, but they remain persistent, instead of yelling at the person:

Take a deep breath.

And say, “I’ve given my answer, and it will not change.”

2. Don’t Give An Explanation 

If you start explaining your “No” after you’ve said, “I’ve given my answer and it will not change.”

Because the person will start to feel that because you are explaining, he or she can erode your boundary.

So don’t do it.

3. Remain Silent 

Remaining silent is the most powerful way to enforce your boundary.

Because it creates a very intense and awkward moment for the person trying to pressure you.

It also lets the person know that you cannot be pressured into giving up your boundary to please them.

These are 3 proven ways to get tough with your boundaries to avoid being a pushover.

Where did I get the proof?

From my own life :)

So, if you are struggling with enforcing your boundaries, I encourage you to try these tactics out in your life so you can stop being a pushover because You Are WORTHY TO BE GREAT!