DON'T LET ANGER COST YOU OPPORTUNITIES!  

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6semvGl_Vqg

Anger is something that we all experience from time to time. It's a natural feeling that can be motivating and help us get through difficult situations. But like any other emotion, anger can be dangerous if it's not controlled. When we lose control of our anger, it can lead to destructive behaviors and even violence. If you are someone who struggles with anger, in this writing, I want to give you some tips to control your anger so it doesn't cost you opportunities.

It's my first day getting trained for my new management position at the corporation I was employed. I was excited about my promotion and I couldn't wait to get started in my new position. Cynthia, my manager who was training me was a middle aged woman with dark black hair and golden brown eyes said "Gene, being a manager can be challenging at times because you are dealing with different personalities as well as issues. Today we will have an awkward situation because we have a lot of temporary workers whose contracts are expiring. They are employed with a 3rd party company that we use for temp workers and we've been instructed to let those employees go today and we will hire them back full time with us next week. We don't want them to know this so that the 3rd party company doesn't try to extend their contract with us." "Ok"

Cynthia as well as the other head managers called the temp workers into their offices one by one to give them the news that they would be laid off. As expected, they were disappointed but most handled the situation with professionalism. Then there was a situation that made me question my decision to get into management.

Over the course of their contract, two employees constantly bumped heads because of their overly competitive nature. They were the most productive out of all the temp workers and despite their bickering, the managers loved them because of their work ethics. They both went into their respective managers offices to get the news they would be laid off in the afternoon. Melissa who was in her mid-forties came out of her manager's office with a gloomy look on her face. Debra, who was in her late-thirties came out with an intense look on her face.

As I was walking back to my cubicle I heard a lot of yelling and a stream of profanities. Everyone walked out of their cubicles to see what was going on and that is when we all witnessed the worse assault I've seen since my days in the hood.

Debra was pulling Melissa's hair till she pulled her face down to the ground. She jumped on top of her and started punching her in her face while yelling "You got me fired! You got me fired!" Melissa was yelling back saying "I did not get you fired, I was also let go! Please get off of me!" Despite Melissa's plea, Debra kept punching her in the face and some of the other employees ran and grabbed her. Determined to inflict as much pain onto Melissa as possible; Debra started pulling Melissa's hair till a huge chunk came off her scalp as she yelled. "You got me fired! I'm not going to be able to take care of my kids! You got me fired!" Debra kept yelling as the police officers who arrived at the building were ushering her off. Melissa laid on the ground in tears and others helped her back on her feet as she said again "I didn't get her fired. I have no idea what she was talking about."

Melissa went home and after she healed in a couple weeks, she was awarded a full time position at the company which included her getting paid 10 times more than her previous salary. Debra on the other hand was fired, got assault charges pressed against her and she was never awarded a full time position because her anger cost her that opportunity.

What I value most about this story is the insight it gives us into how our minds affect our decisions. Melissa and Debra received the same news concerning their employment, but one reacted off emotion and the other responded with logic.

When Melissa received her bad news, she decided to thank her manager for the opportunity because she knew that acting off of anger would not help her keep her job or get one in the future. She made a logical decision that was guided by her Prefrontal Cortex, which is the part of our brain that is responsible for us making logical decisions. Debra on the other hand, was not logical at all. She stormed out of her manager's office and her anger grew to the point she lost her cool and attacked Melissa. She made a decision off of emotional impulse and this decision was guided by her Amygdala which is the part of our brain that helps regulate emotions as well as active our fight or flight response.

So how can this story help you control your anger so it doesn't cost you an opportunity? It can help you because it allows you to see the difference between the Prefrontal Cortex and Amygdala and how they can affect your decisions. This is important because by you understanding the difference between the two and the role they play in our decision making, the tips I'm about to give you on how to control your anger will make sense.

1. When angered, if your amygdala isn't interrupted, your anger will continue to grow because your mind has not had a chance to analyze the situation so that your prefrontal cortex can help you calm down and make a logical decision. A great way to disrupt the Amygdala is by engaging in a logical task, such as counting down from 10 and saying the word logic. For example, "10 Logic, 9 Logic, 8 Logic...., this logical activity will activate your Prefrontal Cortex. Note: You don't have to say logic, it's just something that I like to do because it helps me focus on making a logical decision.

2. Your breath and heart rate also increase when you are angered so deep breathing while you count will help you calm down by relaxing your body's tension so that your Prefrontal Cortex can help you make a logical decision.

Debra was a good person who's anger cost her an opportunity. Had she known these tips and applied them, she would have been awarded a full-time job with 10 times more pay. If you are struggling with anger, I want to encourage you to use the tips I've provided in this writing so that your anger doesn't cost you opportunities because You Are WORTHY TO BE GREAT!!

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