Your responses didn't shock me at all. If you've read my email yesterday, you must have answered my question too.
Dozens already responded.
But these were the same questions I normally answer ng pa ulit2x. lol
Like...
How to trust myself and my husband again?
Am I really enough?
Am I worthy?
Kailan masasabi di na niya uulitin ang ginawa nya dati?
How can one effectively rebuild trust in oneself and others after experiencing betrayal, and maintain a sense of clarity and confidence throughout the healing process?
How do I get rid of paranoia and build trust to my husband again?
Si Lord na bahala sa lahat. Kelan kaya sya magbabago?
And more...
Of all the questions I got and even if natanong na to at nasagot ko na to noon...
...it still got me.
Why?
Here's how she responded.
I know she can read this email too.
Eto yun...
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Hi FJ,
My single biggest question is "Where should I start?"
I've heard a lot of people telling me: JUST START!
the question is Where? How?
Friends and families adviced me to start doing things I like but that's the problem,, I do not know what I want..
depressing right? I do not know what I want in life.. I may be able to start things but being consistent becomes a problem..
So yeah.. that's it.. I think..
The fact that answering this email has been draining for me already..
that's how unmotivated I am..
Thank you.
Elaine
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Typically copied her email response to me.
I remember back then, I also had this problem.
And one valid emotion why I had the problem starting is fear.
Takot sa maraming bagay.
Takot magkamali ulit.
Takot ma blame.
So paano nga ba magsimula?
In anything you wanna start doing, importante ang reason for doing it.
So in her case, di sya makapag simula kasi di nya alam kung ano ang gusto nya.
It's the same when you're going shopping.
If pagpunta mo sa mall ay alam mo na ang kulay, shape, price range, and exact feature na gusto mong bilhin...
...hindi ba't it would be easier to choose and pick something right away?
Kapag hindi pasok sa standards mo, ekis na agad.
And magiging consistent ka lamang sa standard na pipiliin mo kung alam mong alam mo ang magiging outcome once you choose the choice and standard you desire.
Basically, in life, marriage or relationship, dapat alam mo ang biggest reason mo why you need to start moving on.
Kaya nga napakaraming motivational speakers.
Bumabaha online.
But what's the problem with motivational speakers???
Again, you get overwhelmed.
Ra... ra... ra...
But after you got motivated, di mo ulit alam saan mag start.
Why?
Going back, di mo alam ang biggest reason bakit mo need magsimula.
And malalaman mo lamang kung saan ka magsisimula sa pag usad mo kung alam mo rin where you are right now.
Now going back to our mall example.
Imagine you want to go to SM.
Pero na kidnap ka at di mo alam ang lugar kung nasaan ka.
How can I give you the right vehicle to ride on, the right route and... the right time to arrive if you can't provide where you are right now?
If di mo alam kung nasaan ka???
Kaya when it comes to moving on after betrayal...
Dapat alam mo rin kung nasaan ka ngayon.
And this would be challenging if you have no mentor to guide you on.
Kasi things could be overwhelming.
And most people needed validation and guidance na tanging coaches lang ang makakapag bigay.
Kaya nga si Manny Pacquiao, kahit gaano na kagaling...
Bago sumabak sa gyera, he's still undergoing training under his coach.
What if he'll not train at walang coach?
Ganon pa rin kaya ang result?
I'll leave you to answer this.
Tomorrow, March na.
Patapos na ang 1st quarter ng 2024.
Time flies so fast right???
Nasimulan mo na ba ang mga bagay na gustong gusto mo this year???
If not, then do what I just told you in this email.
And... stay tuned to my next emails. :)
To helping you move forward faster with clarity,
FJ "Cheering you on" Lapera
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