Marriage = business?

,

A lot of people started their relationships around twenties like I did.

Quite a few of those couples have become beautiful and inspiring.

Some of them got married.

But most of them though—even the ones who were married, having decent jobs or business than I did back then while growing their family …

Naghiwalay na.

From what I heard, most of them were because of infidelity, betrayal or any form of cheating in the relationship.

And it’s not for the lack love.

They did their best showing their different ways of loving and serving their home at the same time.

So bakit umaabot pa rin sa hiwalayan?

If normal everyday couples are just doing the same things the successful ones are doing…

Why is there such a huge difference in results?

Well, let me tell you this…

It’s because most couples think that ‘getting married’ is the end goal.

They think that getting married is the end goal instead of the starting point.

So as soon as most men got their dream wedding for the love of their life, they start to think they’ve already won…

Not realizing that if marriage was a contest, wedding is simply akin to getting a ticket to register.

You’d notice this too.

Madaming aspiring couples would try to make their dream wedding so “bongga” and spend even their honeymoon abroad.

But once they start living together or having children…

Wala na. Tinatamad na.

Ayaw na mag-improve.

Ayaw na rin maghanap ng ways to keep the intimacy.

Parang negosyo lang.

Most people registering and starting earning on a business as the end point when it’s simply the starting point.

So as soon as they earn a profit, they go on spending it elsewhere and not reinvesting it for more business growth.

Kung dati may effort and time sa pag build ng business… later on nagka problema lang ng konti sa operations… na discourage na. Ayaw na ituloy.

Sa umpisa lang magaling.

Wala na. Tinatamad na.

Nawalan na ng gana.

Ayaw na mag-improve.

Ayaw na maglaan ng oras.

Hanggang sa malugi na ng tuluyan ang business.

A lot of married couples spent more time directing their pre-nup videos, planning their wedding, and choosing kung sino iimbitahin than actually working their relationship after the marriage.

Now, this isn’t to say I’m a perfect woman -- far from it.

I’m just saying that if we treat marriage the same way we treat other important things in our life like ‘business growth’…

It’s only a matter of time before we realize na wala na tayong babalikan.

Because personally, I wasn't any more talented sa mga kagaya ko ring niloko.

I wasn’t any smarter.

I wasn’t any more skilled.

If anything, it was the other way around.

It’s just I knew that no matter how long I stay in this game of personal growth (been doing this for more than 3 years now)…

I always need to treat every day as my starting point.

Listen…

This isn’t to say that you can’t ever ease up in your Healing After Cheating journey.

You can.

In fact, the better you handle your emotions, the more you’ll feel the peace of mind -- probably more than you’ll ever need.

After all, Healing After Cheating in relationships and marriages, is of constant improvement.

And a continuously improving relationship is continually improving thought patterns.

As you become the best in managing your thoughts, you get more peaceful, you save money instead of going to the doctor for anti-depressants, and you joyful at what you do and what you decide, making your husband or even ex… want to be friends with you without you having to look for them.

At the same time…

We can’t just phone our efforts in one-time and expect to get results for a lifetime.

That's why while continually studying God's marital principles for relationship success and shifting my beliefs for my better version...

I developed the confidence to choose and obey God's specific instruction to me regarding building a better relationship and future affair-proof marriage.

I hope this made sense to you.

To your peace and joy,

FJ ‘still improving’ Lapera