A lot of Depressed Cheated Women think that CHEATERS will always be cheaters.
But that’s actually not true at all.
You have to understand your man’s family background.
…the self issues he’s faced ever since childhood
…understand why he behaves differently from what you want him to do
…and even discover your own love differences.
You do this BEFORE judging your man’s character.
To illustrate this further, let me tell you this story:
When we were still starting out our relationship, sobrang close ko sa mama ng ex ko. She would often compliment me and say good stuff about me with her friends.
Moreover, my ex would do the same.
Most of the time, maririnig ko na lang ipagyayabang nya ako sa mga relatives nya. Not until after I left matapos sumabog ang balita ng infidelity nya sa pamilya nya.
Syempre, sinumbatan ko ang family nya and blamed them for not controlling his behavior.I blamed them even if siguro wala naman silang ka alam alam sa nangyari sa amin and how I suffered emotionally for months.
(I just felt betrayed kasi yung bestfriend/cousin nya alam pala)
So I feel like I wanted to also put the blame on them.
At dahil wala na ang Mama nya ng mga panahong yun…
Feeling ko wala na akong kakampi.
Wala na rin syang masaklolohan.
Hindi naman sya mama’s boy pero sobrang close nya sa Mama nya.
And as I dig deeper, after ng healing journey ko, I realized he had a comparison between me and his mom. How his mom manages the livestock he’s raising successfully and how she cooks great food (compared sa akin na mga basic lang) LOL
Now I’m not saying na tamad ako.
Not even making my post-partum an excuse.
But he was looking for the same service he got from his mom.
(Kakamatay lang din kasi ng mama nya non)
Now I grew up in a rural place as well pero di ko forte ang pag aalaga ng mga hayop. Medyo mahilig kasi talaga ako sa techie stuff.
The problem is… feeling ko he wanted to control everything and I felt losing my own voice and identity in the relationship.
Fast forward to my healing journey, I discovered he had this untold fear of being controlled by his partner in life.
Yung mama nya kasi super controlled ang papa nila.
Isang utos lang karipas agad ng gagawin. :)
Now understanding his upbringing brought me to some light.
Mas naintindihanko sya, pilit na inintindi at minahal deeper (An Agape Love) even if feeling ko di sya ka mahal mahal after the physical abuse I got when I finally chose the celibacy.
So if until now you’re still confused of your husband’s behavior - lalo na kung ilang ulit sya nag cheat…
…start understanding where he came from.
Pati na rin yung sayo.
Trust me, hindi lang dapat puro dasal na baguhin sya ni Lord.
That’s why if you want change sa buhay mo, the change would start from you kasi kontrolado mo yung personal life mo.
Then, you also need to change your own perspective of him.
His unwanted psychological behavior has an explanation.
Kasi if you don’t acknowledge it and your perspectives don't cross, no wonder miserable things still happen resulting in cheating.
Now if may natutunan ka on this email alone, how much more sa 8-week advanced healing lessons through The HAC Masterclass (THM)?
In my next email, learn how you can transform and have breakthrough in your relationship this 2025 and onwards intentionally.
To your peace and joy,
FJ Lapera
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