Dear Wonderful Woman,

I hope you're well.

I hope you've had some opportunity to take a break over the summer. I really enjoyed my holiday last week in the Lake District, UK. It's a really scenic place, with many bodies of water, hills, mountains and farms. It's quite a vast area and you can easily find places where you can be the only one there. You can be at one with nature, taking in the views, or even taking a wild swim! I've had a good break and now I'm fuelled to hit September with energy. I've got goals that I'd like to do my best to hit in September. One of the things I know that will really help me to meet my goals, is to challenge my own thinking, and to get feedback on the products and services which I'm working to launch this month. 

This week, I'd like to talk about getting feedback and dealing with the uncomfortableness of getting un-expected, or negative feedback. In the past I've had a hard time listening to negative feedback about the things that I'm really passionate about. Having the humility to accept and reflect on negative feedback is something that helps you to be more successful. I've really struggled with that in the past, because I've been really passionate about an idea or a vision. I haven't been able to be brave enough to admit that things needed to change, pivot, or totally be scrapped. 

Like managing your relationship with failure, managing your relationship with negative feedback is crucial. I have come to learn through experience that when you ask trusted people for feedback and they give you honest but negative feedback, that's a bold act of love and kindness to you. You may not see it at the time. In time you'll come to realise how that feedback, allowed you to make changes, to change course and ultimately helped you to succeed in a different way than you had ever imagined. I still work at soliciting feedback from a range of sources so that I give myself the best opportunity to achieve success. 

Here are two tips for soliciting feedback:

1 Open yourself to listening to feedback from a range of different perspectives 

The hardest thing about getting feedback, is that sometimes it can sting or not be what you're expecting. Be open to getting feedback and consider yourself to be a blank canvass collecting feedback to complete your picture. When you think about getting feedback, prepare to listen to the feedback as neutrally as possible. Try to be as open as possible to hearing that view without colouring it with your own thoughts and consider it as academically as possible. As if you were in a debate, and different view points were being put forward about the best course of action. 

Try to put your negative feelings aside about being criticised and try to hear the feedback from the perspective that the person is seeking to help you improve. In order to get the most out of feedback, you've got have the humility to hear, what you can do to improve, or change the current outcome that you're getting. 

2 Recognise that not all feedback is equal and that you should be discerning about what feedback you act on  

You may be thinking this tip should have come first! I have intentionally placed it as second, because I believe that you should listen to a wide range of feedback. However, I do not believe that all feedback is equal. What I mean by this is that you should choose a range of people from different backgrounds and experiences to ask for feedback. You should consider what you know about the person that you're seeking feedback from. Here I ask you to consider their world view, values, risk tolerance, optimism and pessimism. When you are seeking feedback look both inside and outside of your network. Find people that have overcome your challenge, or have expertise or knowledge on the subject that you're seeking feedback on. 

You'll need to consider if someone tends to be more pessimistic and bear that in mind when you ask for feedback. You shouldn't let one person's lower risk tolerance prevent you from finding feedback that will provide you with solutions, new ideas, and ways to improve or pivot. Not all feedback is equal because asking someone that is well-meaning but doesn't have experience or knowledge of how to succeed at your goal may lead you to lose hope or even stop trying to seek solutions to overcome your challenge. 

Finally don't only seek feedback from people that tend to have the same views as you! Get different perspectives because it will enable you to get introduced to new ideas, ways of thinking and open you to new opportunities that you had not even considered. 

I hope that the aforementioned tips help you to have a more successful September and to meet your career goals for this month. 

I'm excited to let you know that I'm going to be presenting a brand new winter webinar series. The first webinar this month will be on creating proactive habits for career success. Having proactive habits on soliciting feedback, will help you with personal development and support you to achieve your career goals. Save the date of 21st September at 7PM UK time! I'd love to hear your thoughts on what you'd like to know about creating proactive habits for career success. 

Please hit reply to suggest a topic or something that you'd like to learn about. By gathering your feedback, I am able to provide the most helpful webinar to you, so that you can finish 2021 strong!

Wishing you a productive and successful month filled with lots of positive intentional action and new opportunities. 

Warm Regards,

Ekua 💛