Sometimes I get to sit with a couple and it is clear the what they have is not really a problem with their marriage. It is a referred pain from other areas of the life of one or both partners.

Your life is syncytial in nature - Every area of your life is connected and interdependent with every other area.

A weakness or pain in one area usually spills into other areas of your life.

A weakness in your spiritual life may begin to affect your marriage for instance, and a pain in your marriage may affect your spiritual life.

Let me attempt an example. Someone begins to fail in their spiritual life and discipline, and falls into adultery. Their spouse finds out and it begins to affect their marriage.

With the pain in the marriage, each one’s emotional and mental health begins to be affected and they perform poorly at work.

Poor performance at work may cause loss of job which affects their financial life.

When their is little money, they may not feed well, and then their health is affected. They may fall into debt and start hiding from people - their social life is affected

It may just keep going on and affecting every area like that till one person sits down, reflects, and begin to stop the reactions that are escalating and spreading the pain.

Sometimes you need to sit and think about the challenges you are facing as a couple. Is it really a problem with your relationship as a couple or is a pain or weakness in one person’s personal life spilling into your marriage.

That way you will know how you can both spot and support each other through the pain rather than let it spill and begin to affect your marriage.

I hope this helps your marriage win.

Love ❤️ 

Ndu David