Hi Friends,
Let's rewind back to a year ago - August 2019.
My life was in a different place, heading in a different direction, with different goals. I thought my life was heading towards a specific direction, that today, I'm thankful and happy it shifted! Let's explore some of these life changes below.
A few major life updates since last year:
- New home: Newport Beach, CA? I didn't even think Newport would be the city I move to back in December, but here I am - and well, I love it. The city is beautiful and it's been a space for me to recreate myself. I love my home and I moved literally 12 feet from a gym.
- New health/fitness: At 30 years old, I'm stronger and healthier than when I was 28 y/o or 24 y/o for that matter. Some of this was due to just the positive impact of the move and the reduced stress with business, but living within spitting distance of a gym has been helpful as well.
- New business: The work I do with my team has become the business I dreamed about. I just finished my final website this week and my team managing SEO has been happy and thriving. It's been a great feeling to finally decide to shift my business in this way that makes it enjoyable! My team is very happy, I am happier, and I enjoy the process much more than last year.
- New 'family': I've learned that family isn't just about being 'blood' but it's connection to people close to you that fill the roles that everyone needs - like a mother, father, sibling, and friends. The people closest to me right now - want to connect with me. This wasn't how I knew relationships before. It was more about agreement, than connection and I've discovered I value connection. Are relationships still hard? Yes, but they are much more fruitful when both parties want to help the relationship grow in connection.
Those are some major changes - all during COVID. This year is a process of many things. Parts are learning and parts are unlearning. Which gets me thinking about unlearning.
Unlearning
A major part of learning is simple: keep growing, adapting, and believing there is more out there. The hard part is unlearning. Unlearning what has been learned is a different process than learning. It requries a few different skills. Here are some quotes/ideas that help me realize the power of unlearning & how to unlearn
- Replace: Unlearning is not forgetting something from your memory but replacing it with something healthier. "Unlearning is not about forgetting. It’s about the ability to choose an alternative mental model or paradigm. When we learn, we add new skills or knowledge to what we already know. When we unlearn, we step outside the mental model in order to choose a different one." - HBR article
- Remove: Often unlearning is the process of removing systems that have been the default for years, even decades. Unlearning takes a system that is obsolete, unproductive, or plain destructive and confronts it with a new system. This new system is influenced by
- what makes more sense considering all new factors (like AI, connectivity, technology)
- what is more helpful to all parties
- reversing a destructive pattern (ex. going to the cookie jar versus setting a rule to stop eating after 7pm)
- addressing incomplete parts of a system that are no longer relevant (ex. company loyality or longevity ≠ security)
- Define Goals: With unlearning, the pursuit of growth wins. Life has a way of teaching us as we pursue growth, but not when we pursue security/preservation, alone. “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” - Albert Einstein
- Address the Common Fear: We tend to doubt or dismiss new information that contradicts what we already know. Unlearning is often the process of stepping into things we may fear because it is unknown. One quote said it this way: "Which shall it be: bankruptcy of purse [security] or bankruptcy of life?... In the worship of security we fling ourselves beneath the wheels of routine-and before we know it our lives are gone." - by Sterling Hayden, Wanderer. Unlearning addresses things that are outside our comfort zone, that we fear, because they may lay outside our current level of security.
I hope this helps you as you process your year and can use unlearning as a tool in your tool belt of growth.
My favorite finds this week
- Video: How to Speak by Patrick Winston | "Communication is the mother of all skills" One of the best ways for us to improve our connection to others and our opportunities is through speaking. This one-hour lecture is worth watching a few times
- Music: Surfaces music has been on constant repeat on my playlist this month. Delightful, upbeat, and great background audio for a light weekend at home. Spotify playlist I'm currently listening to.
- Quote: "Everyone must have a greater cause than self-preservation." in Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
- Website/Resource: Looking for a new book to read? Find a book recommendation from some of the most successful and interesting people on the planet at goodbooks.io
- Quote: "As a Renaissance Soul, it doesn’t matter whether we engage in our multitude of interests simultaneously, on a rotating basis, or sequentially. What’s important is that we honor our delight in variety, rather than forcing ourselves to choose just one thing. Our multi-interest way of life is the one we prefer, and it’s one to which we’re entitled."- Lobenstine, Margaret. The Renaissance Soul: How to Make Your Passions Your Life—A Creative and Practical Guide
All in,
David
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By David Iskander
I'm David, a search specialist, and beginner YouTuber from Orange County, CA. My motto is: Whatever you do, do it beautifully. I enjoy making YouTube videos about website design, tech, productivity, and faith.
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