Hey ,

There’s a simple lesson that hit me recently, and it came from something as normal as getting a haircut.

My barber does home service. For a long time, he was collecting a certain amount from me. Then after a while, his rate went up. At first, my mind went straight to, “Why the increase?”

But something clicked almost immediately.

I am also a skilled person. I charge for my skill. And when I gain more knowledge, more experience, when I upskill and get better, I increase my value. Naturally, my cost goes up.

So why would I expect it to be different for him?

The truth is, growth usually feels good when it is happening to you, but it can feel uncomfortable when you are on the receiving end of someone else’s growth.

You know a fashion designer who used to charge 10,000, and then suddenly starts charging 20,000. And your first reaction is, “Why?” forgetting that they’ve invested in themselves, gotten better, learned more, attracted more demand.

You had a friend who used to be available for you all the time. To run errands. To pick your calls at any hour. To show up easily. Then life happened. They got busier. They took on more responsibility. They started building something serious. Now they barely have time, and somehow, you feel offended.

But that is not them being wicked. That is growth.

It reminded me of my meeting on Saturday. They were guys I saw almost every day, at least four times a week. Life was simple. Fewer responsibilities. More time.

Fast forward to now, I haven’t seen some of them in months. Not because there is a fight. Not because we don’t care anymore. But because we have grown. Life has become fuller. Responsibilities have increased. Energy is split between so many things.

That is adulthood.

I remember when I first started working a “real” job while still living at my parents’ place. One day, my mum was calling me and I didn’t hear her because I was deeply focused on work. She got angry. I got frustrated. There was tension in the house for a bit. Later, my dad spoke to her and also spoke to me.

He said, “This is what we prayed for. That you will be busy, working, focused. We just need to adjust to the new reality that you won’t be as available as before.”

That hit me.

Sometimes we pray for growth, but we don’t prepare for the changes that come with it.

Even in relationships, this happens. People pray to marry a “great” person, but forget that greatness comes with responsibility, pressure, and limited time. If you want a great partner, then understand that they won’t always have the luxury of time to do everything for you. That doesn’t mean they love you less. It means they are carrying more.

So here’s the point.

As people grow, they change.

Their time changes.

Their availability changes.

Their priorities change.

Their capacity changes.

Their cost changes.

And it doesn’t mean you are no longer important to them. It simply means life has expanded for them.

The hard part is learning not to take it personally.

Instead of getting offended, try to understand it.

Instead of complaining, try to adjust.

Instead of holding them back in your mind, celebrate their growth.

And also remember, as you grow too, someone somewhere will feel the same way about you.

Growth is beautiful. But yes, sometimes it is also painful, especially when you are on the receiving end.

Let’s learn to accept it with maturity and grace.

Your Fave,

Darasimi