Hi ,

I want to add one more thing I learned from that Saturday.

It came from the conversations we had, the things people shared, and the things we didn’t even need to say out loud to understand each other.

One of the biggest mistakes we make as people is judging others based on what we think they should have done, or what we think they failed to do.

You see someone and in your mind, you already have a conclusion about their life.

“She was supposed to be married by now.”

“He said he wanted to do his Masters, what happened?”

“I thought she said she was going to leave that job.”

“He had so much potential, what went wrong?”

But the truth is, most times, you have no idea what really happened.

You don’t know the mistakes they made.

You don’t know the doors that closed.

You don’t know the battles they fought in silence.

You don’t know the nights they cried and didn’t tell anyone.

You don’t know the prayers they prayed that still feel unanswered.

By the time you finally sit down to ask, you realise life didn’t just happen “normally” for them. Things didn’t go according to plan. And it doesn’t mean they are proud of it. It doesn’t mean they are happy about it. It doesn’t mean they are comfortable with it.

It just means life happened.

The truth is, adulthood is not as straightforward as we were taught to believe.

You leave school thinking life will follow a straight line: get a job, build a career, get married, have kids, settle down. But somewhere in-between, things don’t show up the way you planned them in your head.

You plan.

You pray.

You fast.

You work.

You build a skill.

You do everything “right.”

And still, sometimes, it just doesn’t work out as expected.

And it happens to even the best of us.

So before you judge that friend, show grace.

Before you conclude, show grace.

Before you open your mouth to make a statement, show grace.

That friend who is suddenly single might have gone through something that broke them.

That person who hasn’t gone back to school might have a reason they are not ready to share yet.

That business that failed might have taken everything they had.

Grace does not mean you accept nonsense.

Grace does not mean everything is valid.

It just means you choose empathy over arrogance.

It means you choose to understand before you judge.

And let me say this too, you need to extend that same grace to yourself.

I know you planned certain things for this year.

I know you had targets.

I know you said, “By this time, I will…”

And then life happened.

Show yourself grace.

You can try again.

You can start again.

You can go again.

You can do it better next time.

You are not behind.

You are not a failure.

You are not finished.

You are just in a human season of your life.

We go through so much as adults, and most of the things we carry, we don’t post online. All people see is the filtered picture, the smiles, the events, the good days. Nobody sees the internal battles, the confusion, the disappointments, the unanswered questions.

So today, my message is simple.

Be kinder.

Be softer.

Be more understanding.

To others.

And to yourself.

Show grace.

Your Fave,

Darasimi