And no, it has nothing to do with having bat-like hearing... though I believe I could claim to have a superpower finding nice-looking chests for any occasion!

Hello ,

First off, your replies to my email last week, about labelling the steaminess and 'cleanliness' of romance books to make it easier to know what we're getting when we bite into a new story, delighted me!

Aside from one person, there was agreement that the labelling of romance is confusing at best, and annoying when we buy a book that doesn't deliver what we're expecting—getting the full view of nuts in the bedroom when we'd rather they stay tucked away in the kitchen cupboard, for instance.

Although, for almost everyone, the opposite was most often stated—the disappointment of buying a book that appears to be steamy from the cover and /or description, only to to find the couple barely kiss on the pages of the story.

A few of your suggestions

Several of you had suggestions for how Amazon and authors could make things a little more clear... here are four specific ideas.

Janine suggested a numeric system where "clean" scores 0; sexy scores 2; explicit scenes (anal/power/control games) a 4; swearing ("c" word "f" word) + 2 more points... so that anything up near 10 should maybe come with a warning 😆.

Kassandra said: Until now I thought I was the only one finding these descriptions quite confusing and ridiculous. Now I’m relieved … and I think it would be best just to name it in the blurbs: “contains no/mild/intense/whatever sex scenes”.

Sally made me laugh: Fade to black = Sears catalog, minimal sex = Playboy, moderate sex = Penthouse, smutty sex = Hustler.

Rhonda's idea is the easiest: Let’s just call them cold, warm or hot. Hot being the best!

I did a little bit of digging this week and found a few sites that have tried to define the heat level. AllAboutRomance.com has an interesting approach, much like Rhonda's idea. They use a Sensuality Rating Guide (sensuality... I love that) which runs from Kisses --> Subtle --> Warm --> Hot --> Burning.

The Audio Gals has a steam rating that used to be really fun. Since they review audio books, their rating system was:

• You can play it out loud – Maybe a light kiss – maybe all behind doors – or maybe only the knowledge of a romance.
• Glad I had my earbuds in – Warming up – you know they are having sex because the author tells you without a lot of detail. 
• For your burning ears only – Heat factor is high with specific body parts included in the descriptions of the sexual act.

And finally, before I move on and get a life, if you're interested in what the Smart Bitches, Trashy Books gals have to say about ratings, they did a podcast episode on just this topic. It's called Mailboxes to Bonetown: Amanda and Sarah Talk Sex Ratings. The final word from Amanda—"I think the rub for this is there’s no universal sex rating, because it’s just, it’s too subjective."

Moving on... my superpower

I don't know why I feel compelled to make such a big deal about this, but if you've ever had that feeling that nothing you do stands out as special, hopefully this gives you a nudge to find your unique superpower, as quirky as it may be.

I actually have two superpowers: one is helpful, the other is quite the opposite.

I was born with a broken internal compass.

My sense of direction is so bad that no matter where I am, inside or outside, I will turn left when I should turn right. If I go to the bathroom at a mall, when I come back out into what always seems to be a long-ass hallway, I'll head away from wherever Mr. Bloom is patiently waiting for me.

Before getting a car that has a lock that beeps, I would walk miles underground in the wrong direction, looking for my car.

And in the forest? I dare not ever leave the trails that I know loop me back home for fear of having to call in Search and Rescue to bring me home.

I even get lost using GPS. Yes I know my left from my right, but while I'm driving, for some reason "turn left" will half the time have me shoulder-checking for bikes over my right shoulder before I add an extra 20 minutes to my trip.

My superior lack of sense of direction is superpower level.

But on the upside...

My brother, who lived with Mr. Bloom and I for three years, used to be a chef. When he'd make dinner (which he did five nights a week), he'd cook enough food for at least twice as many people as we had at the table. Which meant for three years my job was to put away left-overs.

And let me know tell you, if there was gameshow for choosing the perfect size container for food that needs to go into the fridge — Think The Price Is Right but instead of picking the cost of the item on offer, contestants would choose the container that the item would fit into without spilling over — I'd be the screaming, jumping-up-and-down winner of everything behind Door A.

Yup, that is my superpower. I don't expect anyone to make a movie about it. Or for a gameshow to give me a prize. But every time I use my skill, it makes me happy to know that even though I get lost with directions, my emergency survival bag will be efficiently packed.

Book deals to check out this week

Winner of the $10 Amazon gift card

I cannot tell you how grateful I am to all 121 people who told me about your romance reading habits and interests. I've learned about a shelf-full of new-to-me authors, new places to promote my books, and that virtually everyone who has an interest in my books enjoys romantic comedy—which is great because that's what I love writing!

To make choosing a winner fair and transparent, I put every single email that was in the survey into this name picker. I replaced all the vowels in email addresses with the letter 'x' so that I wouldn't expose anyone's personal information and then... I spun the wheel. If you click the pretty image you can watch and listen as it picks the winner. (It will take you to a website called Loom, which is where the video lives).

That was a lot of jibber jabber and you must have something more productive to do with your day than listen to me blather on...

If you have a superpower, I'd love to know what it is - the quirkier the better.

Can you fold fitted sheets so they don't look like they've been haphazardly bundled into a ball?

Can you remember every item in your kitchen cupboards and find that thing without opening every single cupboard door—twice?

Do you have a sixth sense about when the cat needs to use the litter box so you can put her outside before she forces you to scoop?

Thank you for spending time with me. The fact that I get so many replies makes this Saturday morning, public diary feel worthwhile. So thank you.

love & leftovers stuff,

Danika

xo

PS—If you missed it last week, Mind Over Splatter, my steamy (i.e. open bedroom door sex scenes), first kiss, college romantic comedy (which has been called 'sweet' by 10 reviewers) is free this weekend, too. So grab it now!