This Cat Ate An Anole 🦎

Nov 16, 2022 4:01 pm

Only 2 chapters left to write, and then Gift of Fire will be finished! 🎊

After that comes the "fun" part. Editing. Also, formatting.

And we know there's bound to be a couple typos that elude every check. 🤣

But OF COURSE you're not wanting to hear about Gift of Fire after you saw that incredibly wacky subject line. WTF is an anole? And which of my four proud feline hunters chose to claim one as a tasty snack?

Please allow me to introduce you to . . . .

...Bearing—The Expert Hunter

First of all, here's the Wikipedia page on the type of anoles we get in South Carolina: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anolis_carolinensis

Bearing's prey looked exactly like the brown one at the top of the page ^.

So I have to admit that my household gets a number of problematic critters—usually Palmetto bugs (a horror story in and of itself)—that make their way inside through the living room fireplace. We've had 1 anole already this autumn, which my husband generously took back outside.

Well, last week, the second anole—or was it the first back for another round?—made its way in through the fireplace. Nightfall, my largest male panther, proceeded to stalk it until it found a "safe" perch on top of my piano keyboard. When I found it there, I had a serious discussion with it, noting that my husband was asleep and I wasn't sure if I was brave enough to carry it outside myself.

I also told the anole that Nightfall wanted to eat it.

Then I offered it one way out—namely, a fly swatter slid carefully beside its perch. Did it look at the fly swatter? Yes. Did it climb onto the fly swatter?

No.

So I informed the anole that I was feeling like a jerk, and therefore it must meet my cat. Dumped it onto the floor, where Nightfall began to chase it. And bop it. And carry it from room to room in his mouth. Weirdo.

Maybe 5 minutes later, my second male panther, Bearing, happened to get wind of the anole's presence in the house. I had returned to my laptop around this time, intent on finishing a chapter in Gift of Fire. Then out of nowhere, I heard a giant HISS, followed by guttural growling that went on for 30 seconds.

Had to take a peek into the dining room to see what was up. And there stood Bearing, in the famous "cat crouch," the anole in his mouth, his yellow-green eyes riveted upon Nightfall. He was growling.

That was the first time I've ever heard Bearing growl. 😱

Apparently, what he was actually doing was telling Nightfall, "Okay, this prey is mine to eat, but you are permitted to play with it alongside me."

Now, two panthers began to bop the anole—still very much alive—around the house. Bearing, also, had to toss the thing into the air repeatedly, like he does with his regular toys. I asked him not to toss it onto the mattress where I keep my laptop, because I was working. He heeded my entreaty like a polite male.

About 15 minutes after the process began, the anole was dead. I did not witness the death blow, but I did see the anole lying frozen on its back. Nightfall & Bearing continued to play with it for another 15 minutes. At one point I urged them to eat it, because it was certainly on the verge of getting rigor mortis.

30 minutes after the process began, I heard the loudest, longest CRUNCH I had ever heard in my entire life.

Said crunch was followed by many, many smaller crunches.

Eventually I peered into the dining room again, where Bearing crouched with the back half of the anole's body hanging out of his mouth. 😑

Later on, I checked the entire dining room floor with a flashlight, looking to see whether Bearing had left anything behind. He hadn't.

He at the entire anole, bones and all. Starting with the head.

Thanks, sweet boy, for reminding me that you are, indeed, a predator. 😨

Time For Another Look At Gift of Fire

Well, now that we're all grossed out & horrified by nature's cruelty (it's Bearing; Bearing's nickname is Nature), how about we dive into another snippet from Gift of Fire? Remember, this is the first book in a brand-new PNR series set in my Teutonic fantasy realm. Gift of Fire stars Gabi Scholz—a red-fired Teuton witch—and Lukas Felder—her misty high school bully-turned-boss who just happens to be a super hot athlete. 🥵

Are the two meant for each other?

Or should Gabi try her luck with the city's Keyholder? 🤔

Wait, what?

Read on for a glimpse at destiny's wild twists & turns! (And click on the graphic if you haven't pre-ordered your own copy of Gift of Fire yet. Don't forget, the eBook can be YOURS for only 99¢ if you pre-order today!)

Bianca finished with her meal while I worked on the last of my dumpling. Her fork clattered onto her plate as she voiced a statement that prompted me to freeze mid-bite. “There’s been some crazy rumors going around for the past week or so, ever since your mother started spreading the word far and wide about your return. Now everybody thinks you’re destined to be the next Lady Erlanga.”

I ogled my friend as a piece of dumpling nearly lodged in my throat. “What?” A slight cough followed, and I reached for my beer.

Bianca’s curls bounced as she nodded, pity shading her face. “You know the last five Ladies of this city were chosen right after they came home from the lands of outsiders. The priests say Erlanga’s soul seeks a charitable avatar with an open mind, traits that quests tend to refine.”

A wicked grin had consumed Bianca’s sympathetic expression. All at once, she burst into giggles, while I sat statue-like with a mostly empty beer glass in my hand, horror twisting my stomach into knots.

“You’ve got to be making that up,” I said, seizing denial’s lifeline. “I studied with Lady Erlanga just the same as you. I don’t remember her saying she came home from a ‘quest’ right before she became this city's Lady. I wasn’t on a quest. I was working, earning a business degree!”

Bianca’s torso shook with laughter, and she drained her beer. “Tell the soul of Erlanga that when she chooses you. Maybe she’ll let you off.” She winked.

I shuddered, then called the waiter to our table and asked him to refill our glasses. He cleaned up our empty plates and departed, leaving me grappling with a sense of helplessness. Maybe I had come back to Erlangen on a whim, a mad attempt to escape a controlling boyfriend and a city stained by memories of him. A clean slate, a new start, a chance to ease myself back into the Teuton community.

And now they expected me to become their fated matriarch, consort of the Keyholder. An image of the lean, aged priest bent over a staff wreathed in sparking energy arose in my mind. My fire retreated into my spirit at the memory. I don’t want to be that man’s consort or anyone else’s. If I’m going to attempt a new relationship, it’ll be with a man I choose myself, not some predestined—

“Lady Erlanga isn’t sick or anything, is she?” My own question cut off my mental speculations, my eyes narrowing at Bianca’s face. She raised one eyebrow as the waiter reappeared, setting two fresh glasses of Kellerbier on the table before us. We both thanked him, and I tugged my glass toward me, gripping it with both hands as I leveled Bianca with a glare. “She’s not going to just drop dead now that I’m home, is she? Is that what fate demands?”

I had lowered my voice considerably, and Bianca did the same when she answered. “Physically, Lady Erlanga is fine, but a cloud of sorrow has been hanging over her ever since her husband passed last Christmas. I think she longs to follow him, to dedicate her legacy to someone else.”

A minuscule hint of relief loosened my muscles; at least I would not have to grant my body to a withered old priest of energy. The current Lady had loved him dearly, but my youthful hormones steered me away from a partner sixty or more years my senior. And that meant . . . .

“So who’s the new Keyholder?”

Bianca met my gaze, her eyes bright with possibility. “His name’s Henning Glossner. I’ve met him a few times. He seems really nice. Studies plumbing in trade school, which is a bit odd for someone with blue fire, but who am I to judge?”

Dread worked its way to the forefront of my mind. I took a sip of beer and steeled myself to learn the truth. “He’s still in trade school, huh? How old is he?”

My friend sighed and looked at the amber contents of her glass. “Nineteen. Some people have already started calling you a cougar, among other things.”

Grimacing, I pushed my chair a short distance back from the table, my fingers sliding away from my glass. “Among other things?”

Bianca hesitated one moment longer before admitting, “There’s been talk that you shouldn’t be qualified to become the Lady. That you’re not worthy because your father couldn’t wield his element yet when you were born. That as long as there’s been a Keyholder and Lady of Erlangen, both claimed Teuton blood of at least ninety percent.”

My wishes to find belonging in this wretched place dissolved at my feet. “I knew I shouldn’t have come back here. Guess I’d better pack up my stuff and head for someplace where nobody knows about Teutonic magic. Maybe Berlin.” Rising to my feet, I dug through my purse in search of my wallet.

“Gabi!” Bianca’s hushed cry made me pause with my wallet halfway out of my purse. She stared toward the beer garden’s entrance with a panicked look.

Just as Lukas Felder passed under the archway, a leashed pug waddling at his feet.

✨ Get Gift Of Fire ✨

ARCs Coming On Black Friday

Assuming the creeks don't rise, ARC copies of Gift of Fire will be available starting on Black Friday. That means if YOU happen to be on my ARC team of 🩸 Elemental Bloodliners 🩸, keep your eyes peeled for the eBook link in a little over a week. Remember, Gift of Fire will need your help to give it a great launch on the retailers. I'm counting on your awesome review to shove it along!

That being said, 20 of you left reviews for Gift of Fire's prequel, Gift of Air. I really, really, reeeeeeally appreciate your willingness to help. (Ilsa and Horst offer their sincere gratitude, too!) 🥰

If you're not on my ARC team, I'd still advise you to prepare yourself for a couple unusual newsletters coming your way next week. Next Thursday is Thanksgiving in the U.S., while next Friday brings us that lovely retail extravaganza known as Black Friday. I might have a notion to create some limited-time coupon codes in honor of Black Friday & Cyber Monday.

And there might be a giveaway waiting in the wings, too. 🤩

Tasty Treats Romance

OK, now that I'm done begging for pre-orders yet again (I feel like a broken record over here), I'd invite those of you who made it this far in my newsletter to take a look at the Tasty Treats romance sale happening on BookFunnel. You can find 100+ eBooks in a whole bunch of romance genres just waiting for their newest fans! There are even some holiday tales lurking among the others. 🎅

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