Today I woke up with a high level of anxiety.
What's weird to me now is I realize this feeling used to be every day of my life.
And because I have worked on myself a lot over the years, it is now a rare occurrence.
So what did I do about it today?
15 minutes of meditation, then immediately go into a creative workflow.
I have found that most of my short term anxiety stems from pent up energy or "work" that I didn't get to release.
Think of a dog that is used to playing for a few hours a day... and then one day you force it to sit in a cage.
This morning feels a bit different though.
It is not just energy that I need to release.
There is some shit I need to figure out.
There are a lot of moving pieces in my life right now.
And the ambiguity of it all is what brings on anxiety.
As a human I am born with a sense to want to control my surroundings.
It is a safety/coping mechanism.
We all have it.
And I was born with A LOT of it.
So over the years I have been working on extending my ability to handle ambiguity.
While I find myself anxious today, I am also proud.
Because my limits to which I can withstand ambiguity have grown vastly.
The coolest part for me right now, is that instead of falling back into old habits and trying to immediately set a plan, I am allowing myself to just FEEL what I am feeling.
I am not trying to fix it.
This is a major step for someone like me.
Maybe you are the same.
And today that is why I write on this topic.
It is okay to not feel okay.
It is a part of human nature.
Bringing allowance of feelings, and acceptance of your full self into this world, that is where more peace can be found.
And peace is what I am after.
So cheers to today!
One in which I will not try to control my anxiety, yet allow myself to feel the full intensity of it and do the things I know will bring more peace into my life.
I hope you have a wonderful day!
#thriveon
CJ
p.s. today I am grateful for AirBnb. Erin and I need a place to stay for a few months while we await our next home, and the fact that I can simply log onto an app and find something close by that suits us... still amazes me that this is the world we live in.
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