Today I woke up with a high level of anxiety.

What's weird to me now is I realize this feeling used to be every day of my life.

And because I have worked on myself a lot over the years, it is now a rare occurrence.

So what did I do about it today?

15 minutes of meditation, then immediately go into a creative workflow.

I have found that most of my short term anxiety stems from pent up energy or "work" that I didn't get to release.

Think of a dog that is used to playing for a few hours a day... and then one day you force it to sit in a cage.

This morning feels a bit different though.

It is not just energy that I need to release.

There is some shit I need to figure out.

There are a lot of moving pieces in my life right now.

And the ambiguity of it all is what brings on anxiety.

As a human I am born with a sense to want to control my surroundings.

It is a safety/coping mechanism.

We all have it.

And I was born with A LOT of it.

So over the years I have been working on extending my ability to handle ambiguity.

While I find myself anxious today, I am also proud.

Because my limits to which I can withstand ambiguity have grown vastly.

The coolest part for me right now, is that instead of falling back into old habits and trying to immediately set a plan, I am allowing myself to just FEEL what I am feeling.

I am not trying to fix it.

This is a major step for someone like me.

Maybe you are the same.

And today that is why I write on this topic.

It is okay to not feel okay.

It is a part of human nature.

Bringing allowance of feelings, and acceptance of your full self into this world, that is where more peace can be found.

And peace is what I am after.

So cheers to today!

One in which I will not try to control my anxiety, yet allow myself to feel the full intensity of it and do the things I know will bring more peace into my life.

I hope you have a wonderful day!

#thriveon

CJ

p.s. today I am grateful for AirBnb. Erin and I need a place to stay for a few months while we await our next home, and the fact that I can simply log onto an app and find something close by that suits us... still amazes me that this is the world we live in.