Did you get your degree for you? Or to impress others?

Did you pursue the career you are in for you? Or to impress others?

Did you work so hard to lock up that rigorous job for you? The one where you say you are so "busy" all the time... for you? Or for others?

If you are like me, you probably had a mixture of both.

I am just here to ask you the hard questions that you need to be asking yourself to live a better life moving forward.

I will say that all the way up until this past year, I was making decisions that were partially due to seeking validation.

This is normal.

When you are unwillingly placed into a society that has an unwritten hierarchy, you tend to follow the path others have bestowed on you because that is all you know.

Something has switched in me though.

Having turned 30, and once again realizing my own mortality, this has a lot to do with it.

If you have been watching my social media at all, you will see I have been training harder than I ever have.

Why?

Because as a kid I dreamed of becoming a professional athlete. I would literally watch Space Jam every single day, and from a young age the only channel I watched was ESPN.

I didn't watch cartoons, video games bored me.... I was a 4+ sport athlete from 5 years old onward.

But then I ruined all my chances of my dream because of VALIDATION.

I quit most of the sports to focus on one sport because society said that was the best chance of achieving a scholarship.

I starting heavily drinking and smoking weed because that was the accepted norm of college athletes and fraternities.

At certain points I even took prescription pills so that I could "do-it-all."

Here's the fucked up part though....

I did get a full-tuition scholarship and maintained it for 5 years with a 3.0 in Engineering.

I did well in athletics.

I was a socialite and had friends from all over the place.

I always had a side hustle so I could pay my rent and afford to live the life I wanted.

And I even spent time giving back.

But the whole time I was hiding something.

I hid my dream.

I drowned out my sorrows with the noise of being "busy."

I got my degree because it would validate my intelligence.

I played the sport I played for the social validation, not because I absolutely loved it. Soccer wasn't and isn't my favorite sport...by a long shot TBH.

I partied hard because thats what I did with everything in my life, go 100+ miles per hour or don't go at all.

And then when I graduated, I did the same thing. Got a job that sounded nice on paper, would make me look good to all the parents I would see at graduation parties, and would help me buy more drinks, drugs, and lock up dates with whoever was into a dude in a suit who had money.

Validation will corrupt you.

Fuck everything I said above.

You know what I seek today?

Meditating in the sun every morning.

Exercising outside and sweating at some point during the day.

Dancing with my wife in the living room to whatever is playing on our Spotify.

Home cooked meals with people I love at the table.

A solid night of sleep so I can do it all over again.

I don't need your validation anymore.

I don't need their validation anymore.

In fact, I don't even need my friend's or family's validation. Because if they don't approve of what I am doing, that is their choice. That is the beauty of having the freedom of choice. I will still love you, even if you don't love me.

And I am starting to lean way more into my freedom.

Therefore, you see me training to make up for lost time.

The question I ask myself is "CJ if you never had quit the sports, never touched the bottle of liquor, and never picked up that bong...what potential would you have reached in your 20's?"

What you are seeing on social media is my answer.

I no longer drink. Heck, I have multiple bachelor parties and open bar weddings this year and I am staying sober at them.

I have quit depending on weed to help me rest and recover.

And most importantly, I have stopped giving a fuck about the validation of anyone except for the man I see in the mirror when I wake up every morning.

I hope to help you realize the same thing about yourself.

.

.

.

Today was a lot about me, but I hope you can relate at some capacity. My mission is to help other people, brands, and businesses THRIVE. One of the best ways to do this is to look at your past and reflect on what was "not THRIVING" in your eyes. Then strip away the things that hold you back.

What things can you strip away so that you can reach your own potential?!?

Happy Sunday!

#thriveon

CJ

p.s. today I am grateful that the sun is back in Austin Texas. It was pouring for a few days (we needed it badly). But it is nice to get to sit in the sun this morning as I write this.