What if who I hoped to be was always me?

And the love I fought to feel was always free?

What if all the things I've done, yeah

Were just attempts at earning love? Yeah

'Cause the hole inside my heart is stupid deep

Stupid deep

What if where I've tried to go was always here?

And the path I've tried to cut was always clear?

Why has life become a plan, yeah

To put some money in my hand?

When the love I really need is stupid cheap

Stupid cheap

-Jon Bellion

I believe that the world is comprised of billions of people that walk around with a "stupid deep" hole in their hearts.

Myself included.

The hole starts as a kid, when you have a dream, and you go to tell it to an adult... and they shoot it down.

The hole grows when you get bullied in school, when the girl/guy you really like pays you no attention, when you know there is more to life than sitting at a desk and getting "grades," when you see the bickering/drama/war that goes on in a chaotic world, when you become an "adult," but feel like you never even got to be the "kid" you wanted to be....

Sadly, I think many people never fix the hole that I describe above.

Their entire lifetime goes by with something that always seems to hold them back from getting what they want & need out of life.

And the fact that they remain broken has a lot to do with their inability to realize these two things...

What if who I hoped to be was always me?

What if where I've tried to go was always here?

The inability to realize that they don't need to be anyone other than themselves. They don't need to meet some grade, standard, bar... that society, school, jobs, their family, their friends set on them.

And also, their inability to be present in the moment. To be grateful for their heart/lungs/hands/eyes/ears .... their ability to LIVE and have the potential to make something of the life they are granted. Appreciating the magic that is their capability to giving and receiving love.

You can fix the hole though. I promise you.

First step, put yourself in an environment that is the MOST YOU.

Hang around other people that help you shine your light, rather than dim it.

Join communities that encourage you to open your heart and mind to healing.

And if you struggle finding this, reach out to me! I have made it a goal in my life to build communities that help people heal the hole in their hearts.

I know what it is like, my hole still remains...but I promise you it is healing better than ever.

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

#thriveon

CJ

p.s. I am grateful for the photo above. Austin Texas, the people here, they have helped me heal. I will be forever grateful and indebted to this place.