living my life as a lie.

Around this time 4 years ago, my life changed forever.

I was sick. Mentally and physically.

I had lost 15-20 lbs (for me this is a lot, to put it in perspective, I almost dropped under 130lbs).

My suit for work was no longer fitting.

People started to notice my face sinking in.

But I didn't dare to tell anyone that I was running to the bathroom multiple times a day. Fighting excruciating pain. And on the verge of depression.

I didn't like my job.

I didn't like my career path.

I didn't like my body.

And I was starting to not like myself.

The worst part for me, it started to impact my relationship with my fiancee (now my wife). The person that means the most in this world to me. The girl who I would sacrifice everything for, I was letting her down, and that hurt worse than all of the above.

I was literally sacrificing my health, my sanity, and the relationship with the love of my life...for what?!? A job I didn't care about. A career path I hung on to because of my ego. Oh how cool it was to say I was an "Engineer." Sikeee. And for money was bringing me no fulfillment whatsoever.

Long story short, my grandfather died, two cars hit me head on within a 3 day span, and while my car was in the shop, my rental car got towed because I had to take a quick flight out and forgot to get a guest pass.

When it rains, it pours.

The funny thing is though, the universe always seems to make you go through the storm, so that the sun shines even brighter on you in end.

2-months after that storm (January 2nd, 2017 to be exact), I quit my job, signed up to get my nutritionist certification, and invested in a monthly membership to a start-up hub.

Wow what an amazing ride it has been since then!!!

I tell this story for 2 reasons...

1. If you are feeling ill, either mentally or physically, DO NOT DO WHAT I DID!!! Do not hold it in for years. Tell someone. Open up. Be vulnerable. I promise you that your life will get better if you do.
2. To remind myself how far I have come, and remind you to remind yourself of the same thing. You are right where you are supposed to be. Be proud of yourself!

In regards to number 2, I am extremely hard on myself. And I am positive you are too at certain times. Like me, you may struggle to be present, find it hard to live in the moment, and fail to make the most of every minute you get.

You are human though.

And all you can do, is to do the best you can.

The best thing you can do right now though, is to ask yourself where in your own life are you living a lie?!?

I wasn't being truthful to myself about what I wanted out of life. This caused extreme turmoil inside me, and it showed up as aggressive flares with my celiac disease.

For you, it may show up in different forms. All I ask is that you raise your awareness to the forms they are showing up in. Once you realize them, you can start to fight back against them.

If you already find that you are telling the ultimate truth to yourself, congrats! I am really happy for you. :)

What I will ask of you though, is to realize that everybody is fighting a battle that none of us can see. A battle between their two ears. A battle that can sometimes turn into a full blown war if we let it.

Before it gets to war, speak up. Tell your truth. Live your truth. Be your truth.

The world needs you to do it, and to encourage others to do the same along the way.

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Happy Friday fam!

I hope you had an amazing week!

If you ever need to talk about life, I am all ears.

We've all been through hell at certain times of our lives.

But we don't have to remain there.

Together we can get through it.

#thriveon

CJ

ps: today I am grateful that year over year I am gaining more control over my health. If you are struggling with health issues, don't let go of your hope. Keep doing research, keep experimenting, and keep believing that their is a solution out there. This attitude guarantees you a great chance of eventually finding one.