With my son Aiden now becoming more aware of the world and his surroundings, it is very apparent that I will have a little human being that watches my every move.

Because of this, I have been doing some heavy reflections on all my habits ...

The Good.

The Bad.

The Mediocre.

And asking myself why I do certain things with excellence, but then allow myself to do other things subpar?

Which then got me thinking back to my childhood and how I would do certain things with excellence to please others, but then behind closed doors, where nobody else could see but me, I would slack off.

I am no different than you.

We all do it at some capacity.

Especially when we are kids.

But as an adult, the only person I am letting down in those small moments is myself.

At least that is how it was before Aiden was born.

Now my subpar habits have a chance to transfer to him.

And I refuse to be a bystander to that.

So here I am reflecting on what must change within me.

.

.

Why did I ask you if you were an honor roll kid?

Because I was one of those kids that when it came time to getting the grades on paper, everything was excellent.

Yet, underneath the surface I was gaming the system.

I wasn't putting forth a great amount of effort, I was just great at doing the minimum that needed to get done to please others.

This was in the classroom.

On the field it was the exact opposite.

Every sport I played, every activity I signed up for, it would be hard to find a kid that worked as hard as I did.

What does this tell me about myself when I think back?

✌️Two things

1. I was never meant to sit in a traditional classroom. I didn't put forth massive effort because half the time I was bored, annoyed, and frustrated with being there in the first place. I caught on really early that no one cared if I truly learned the subjects, they only cared to see the A on the report card.
2. When I am obsessed with something, few people will outwork me because I don't care about achieving the "honor roll," I just care about my passion for the thing that I am doing.

What was the result of this conditioning over the long run?

The things I was obsessed with, or things that others would see, I would do with excellence.

And the other things in my life I would half-ass.

In essence, some things I do with honor, others I am dishonorable.

The definition of honor

Do I respect myself enough to take on any task at hand and do it with excellence and honor?

^^^ This is what must change within me.

While I was great at doing the minimum needed to be on "Honor Roll" ...

I lacked the understanding that what truly matters is whether I am showing up to myself in an honorable way each and everyday.

This is something as an adult I have strived hard to do.

And it is something I directly want to teach Aiden.

It will not be his report card that I particularly care about.

Instead, will he be a boy, and eventually a man, that has enough respect for himself to do things with honor and excellence?

And not because someone else is counting on him to do so...

But because he understands that if he pursues the path of self-excellence and honor, his life, and the lives of those he loves most, will be better because of it.

It is my duty to help him get to this understanding.

I do so not by telling him, but by showing him.

Day by day moving forward...

My plan is to do just that.

#thriveon

CJ

p.s. today I am grateful for the beach time I got with Aiden and Erin yesterday. He dipped his toes in the Atlantic for the first time ever and it is a memory I will never forget.