4- Feelings . . . Let Them Show!

Welcome back to the Circle C Writer's Corner. If you missed lessons 1, 2, or 3, you can review them (or catch up) right here:

1. The Five Story Elements
2. Creating Characters
3. Character Traits

It's been a busy summer, so I did not offer a writing lesson in July. But if you are doing a little summer writing with your kids, this lesson is great fun! Here's another idea. With a new school year on the near horizon, now might be a great time to go back and turn the first three lessons into a fun beginning school year writing project.

By now, I hope you have come up with a handful of characters for a possible story. You’ve used the Character Traits Chart to help brainstorm both outward traits and personality traits for your heroes and heroines (and for various villains). Perhaps your newly created characters have jumpstarted an idea for an adventure story. If so, don’t forget to map out the overview of your story by using the Five Elements of a Fiction Story. To review, your story outline needs:

1. Some Characters
2. A Setting
3. A Story Problem for your characters
4. A few Plot Events as they solve the problem
5. A satisfying Solution to the problem

This month’s lesson goes hand-in-hand with creating your characters. It will show you how to express your characters’ feelings using words. It is the first of the SHOW, DON’T TELL lessons in writing: for people, for actions, and for descriptions. Show, Don’t Tell is the most important skill an author can develop at any age. Memorize it. Never forget it!

Characters’ Feelings

What makes a story character seem real? It’s when he or she acts like a real person, showing real feelings, likes, and dislikes. Readers want to read about real characters doing exciting and interesting things with a purpose. They want to see characters who laugh and cry; become angry or hurt; or get embarrassed. They want to see your characters’ feelings!

HAPPY 😃 SAD 😢 ANGRY😡 HURT🤕 SHOCKED😲 

Do you ever experience any of these feelings? Everybody has feelings, and your characters must have them too. If you were creating a video for YouTube, it would be easy for viewers to see what your characters are feeling. They can see and hear everything. However, authors have to show everything with words alone. Most books don’t even have pictures. 

The way to give your readers a good experience is by making sure you always SHOW what your characters are feeling rather than by simply TELLING your readers what the characters are feeling. Confused about the difference? Here is an example of a short sentence that tells what the character is feeling.

TELLING: Andi was furious when she heard the news. 

There’s nothing wrong with this sentence . . . other than the fact that it’s ho-hum. How can I make this “telling” sentence come to life and show the reader Andi’s personality? First of all, I think of some words that might show the feeling of someone who is “furious.” (See below to download a Characters’ Feelings Chart):

•  Clenches fists
•  Squeezes something
•  Screams
•  Red face
•  Shaking / trembling

Using these words as hints, I think of a situation in my story where Andi can “show” her fury. What would she do? How would she act it out? You can make your showing sentences as simple or complex as you like (the showing words and phrases are underlined):

SHOWING: Andi leaned her forehead against Taffy’s saddle, squeezed the leather in a crushing grip, and shook. She wanted to scream, but that would draw unwanted attention from the busy cowhands. They’d rush over and demand to know how badly she was hurt, for wasn’t that the only fit reason for screaming? When they realized she wasn’t snake-bit or bleeding to death, they’d scold her and head back to work.

So Andi clamped her mouth shut and screamed on the inside.

The reader doesn’t yet know why Andi is furious, but you can tell she’s riled up about something, can’t you? That’s showing! And you want to keep reading to find out the reason.

Characters’ Feelings Chart

Click the tab (or the image) to download a Characters’ Feelings Chart. This chart is an excellent resource when you want to use words that show a particular feeling. For example, instead of saying your character is sad, you can find words on the chart like “tears, trembling lips, hanging head, drooping shoulders, frowning, dragging feet, crying, and sobbing” to show sadness in your story.

Feelings Chart and Practice

Below are two more examples on how to take a “ho-hum” telling sentence and turn it into a word picture that shows the reader your character’s feelings:

Telling sentence: Jamie felt cold and miserable waiting in the icy cave.

Showing sentences: Jamie shivered as the icy wind slapped her face. She wrapped her arms round herself and stamped her feet on the frozen ground. Then she sat down, drew a thin blanket round her shoulders, and curled into a tight ball.

Give It a Try

Here is a way to practice this new skill:

1. Choose a feeling from the Characters’ Feeling Chart.
2. Choose one of the characters you have created (or make one up).
3. Think about something that could happen to your character to make him/her feel the emotion you chose.
4. Write 5-7 sentences describing the situation and your character’s feelings. Do not use the “feeling” word in your paragraph. If you do, that is “telling.”
5. Share your writing with someone. Can he or she guess which feeling your character is showing by reading what you wrote?

Do you understand how important it is to SHOW and not simply TELL or explain your character's feelings? Telling makes your reader yawn. Showing makes your reader turn the page to learn more.

Want to dig deeper and watch this lesson on video? Go here >

The next Writer's Corner will teach you how to use an imaginary writing camera to "freeze" the action and create a descriptive scene.

If you would like these writing lessons expanded into a full curriculum, you may purchase Writers Roundup (ranching theme) or Writers Gold Mine (gold-rush theme as a print book ($18) on Amazon > or as an instant download > ($10) from the Circle C webstore. 

SUSAN K. MARLOW

CIRCLECBOOKS.COM

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