“And as her soul was departing, (for she died), she named him Ben-oni (son of my sorrow); but his father called him Benjamin (son of the right hand).” - Genesis 35:18

The verse above comes from the life of Jacob in the Bible, as told in the book of Genesis. Jacob’s life has many incredible moments, some good, some bad, and some that will just make you want to punch the guy. However, here we have an often overlooked moment in God’s word that in many ways communicates one of the most important messages of the entire Bible. You see, Jacob’s wife Rachel has a son and tragically passes away during childbirth. As she’s breathing her last, she names the child Ben-Oni, which means “son of my sorrow”, understandable for a woman in the throes of death, but wow, what a terrible name to live with. Knowing this, Jacob changes the child’s name to Benjamin, which translates to “Son of my right hand.”

Now, Biblically, it's important to understand that son of my right hand is not some weird indicator that Jacob must have first held Benjamin in his RIGHT hand, or that he was deeply concerned about his son becoming a southpaw. In tradition, the right hand was the hand of blessing. To be the son of the right hand meant to be held in a place of honor, esteem, and blessing. Benjamin’s identity was so nearly found in sorrow, in the struggle through which he came into this life. But his father stepped in and changed his identity to one of honor, esteem, and being loved. See, the thing is, I think for most of us, we sometimes do the same thing to ourselves that Rachel tried to do to Benjamin. We allow the world to tell us that our identity is in our struggle, but it isn’t. Just like Benjamin, you have your identity not because of your struggle, but because of who your Father is.

When we find our identity in the wrong things, we begin to ACT based on those things, our self-beliefs begin to play out BASED on what we believe about who we are. “Well of course I’ll screw this up because I’m a screw up, it’s what I always do.” “Of course I’ll fall off the wagon again because that’s who I am, I can’t commit to anything.” “Of course I’ll ruin this relationship, I always do.” Fill in your own blank. Your struggle may be a part of your story, and it’s important to take ownership of that, but it doesn’t own you, and it doesn’t define you. If you have placed your faith in Jesus, then your identity is as a child of the Most High King. He has placed His right hand of blessing on you, and your identity is not in the mistakes you’ve made but in the Father you have.  As you go through this week, do not walk defeated, do not allow yourself to repeat broken narratives about who the world and the negative voices in your head will try to tell you that you are. Shut them off and boldly move forward, repeating until you believe it that your identity is not in the mistakes you’ve made or the struggles you face, but in the Father you have and the promises He’s made. You are not your struggle. 

“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.”

• 1 John 3:1-3



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