[BF #042] 🎻Clickbait: We're raised to be poor

Nov 19, 2020 3:57 pm

(best 2-minute read of the week!)

Everyone should have their own definition of success. What means "to be rich" for me is not necessarily the same for others, and we won't have the same things that make us (if at all) happy.


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Since I was a child, I had problems with authority and strong aversion towards "having to" and doing stuff "because all the others are doing it like this". It's the same feeling that eventually got me to quit my "first IT job" as described in the Breaking Freelance #019.


One of my earliest memories is not understanding the "having to" sleep midday in kindergarten. If I don't want to - why should I have to? I grew up with the same contempt towards school, instinctively knowing at some level that I will have no use out of this in my "real life".


Later I grew to realise that the school system is built in a way that it does not encourage creativity and individualism. Instead, it's made to mould everyone in the same way. Training people to be 9-5 drones. Not teaching you about business, taxes, how money works. Just show up at nine, do your thing, go home, pay your bills, vote every few years, and then die.


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The school system will have to change, and it is slowly catching up with fast development of technology - but that's a topic for some other time. I knew I didn't want to be one of those who had to memorize the dates of historic battles, birthdays of famous inventors, or some random poems. And I was lucky enough to have parents who got that as I wrote in [BF #030] 🖥️ Me & my first PC, so I can now have a career and wake up without an alarm clock.


"Good enough" is the problem

Majority of people strives to lead a "carefree and easy life", but if you take a look around (or in the mirror), how many people actually lives like that? Very little to almost none. Why?


We've been sold a fairy tale that if we work hard enough, there's a comfortable life at the end of mundane 9-5 existence—the magical retirement. But somehow, life is always full of challenges and hardships. And that's OK! If you look closely, you'll see that people working hard on avoiding problems are somehow ever caught up in them.


Subscribe to problems and challenges of your choosing, making the constant growth and development your daily goal, and accept the fact that happiness comes from solving the problems you face instead of bitching and moaning about them.


"If only I had X bigger salary, I would finally be happy" - How many times have you heard people say this? I was like that myself, thinking that a little bigger salary will somehow solve my life's problems. Getting a bigger salary made me realise that my issues are here to stay - and regardless of the number, I am not happy if I'm not doing what makes me enjoy the work.


When I quit my job, as mentioned above, many people had the same reaction. "You're crazy. You had a great salary. You had it good enough." - and that's the problem. 


In Croatia we were raised by parents that grew up poor and survived a war, struggled to put food on the table at some point, and all they want for us is to "Have it better than they did."


Giving talks all over Europe, and from Africa to Siberia, meeting people from all over the world living in the UK - I came to realise the story is fairly similar. Parents want the best for us, but usually that's only one step above what they had.


A good enough car, 30-year loan on "your own" apartment, good enough job to pay for all that, and a dream of "better future". But that future will not come - if you don't put your mind, time and effort to it.


So - focus one more than just fucking good enough.


Missed previous emails?

No problem, you can read them in 📜 Breaking Freelance Archive.


Have a great day!

T.



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Tom Kozacinski, sir Freelance-a-lot 🙃

www.breakingfreelance.com

www.kozacinski.com

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