(1-minute story of cheating girlfriends and unpaying clients)

I used to be an angry person, I would say. I've learned to hide it well, but I was miserable a lot. I'm happy to say I'm not anymore, as I've learned to "forgive and forget".

A conversation with a dear friend recently reminded me of a few hard lessons I've picked up along the way, that could maybe help you in dealing with stress and anger in your daily struggles - as it helped him (he says).

You need to manage your anger - because people can't manage their stupid.

I'm sure you have a reason, something or someone to be angry about - we all do. My reasons at one point became too big of a burden to carry; from unpaying clients bankrupting my business to my girlfriend (at the time) fucking my friends. True story.

One client even "paid me" in bath salts and joint ointments I was photographing for promo stuff I was designing. He decided that their retail value is similar to my service, so I can "just keep them", and he will consider the matter settled.

Long story short - I threatened him with violence, and he settled the bill (hey, I'm from the Balkans, please keep that in mind 😂) - so, as I said - I was an angry person. To hear the story about my cheating ex-girlfriend, you'll have to catch my stand up comedy show some time! 😄

Delete the Butt-Hurt.app from your mind!

The friend mentioned above told me that "he can go against his own nature when he puts his mind into it, apart from forgiving others." Regardless of the core principle of being happy is to unload the burden and forgive people.

This got me to thinking about how I got from angry and hating a bunch of people to now being content and enjoying almost every day - so here it is...

One day - I decided that I forgive everyone who did me wrong.

No resentment. No Anger.

I realised - everyone is the hero of their own story, the main character in their own movie and everyone just wants to have the best life possible they can.

How can I be angry about that?

I fully understand every decision they made that hurt me.

I don't agree with them - of course.

Would I do it differently? Absolutely!

But I'm not angry at all. I forgive them 100%. No hard feelings.

But...

I cross them off - they don't exist in my life anymore. I wish them to 🖖 live long and prosper - all the best. But you're erased from history as far as I'm concerned.

It would be stupid not to forgive.

Not forgiving means that you need to wake up every day, start the "Butt-Hurt.app" and actively remind yourself "I hate person X because they did this and that to me". How can you be happy if you start your day with shit like that? That type of thinking hurts only me, people I hate don't give a flying fuck about me - they don't wake up thinking "Oh, shit - Tom hates me. Damn!"

You win at life not by making them suffer (even if just in your mind), but by not giving them a second of your day. They are not worth it.

It may be a cliché - but it's true...

"Resentment Is Like Taking Poison and Waiting for the Other Person To Die"

Missed previous emails?

No problem, you can read them in 📜 Breaking Freelance Archive.

Cheers!

T.

Tom Kozacinski, sir Freelance-a-lot