You don't own anything to your past self.

So, if you've "always wanted to be (fill in the blank)" - and now that you are - you're not as happy as you were, or you thought you'd be - feel free to change.

"Sometimes, we are so focused on where we are going; we fail to appreciate how far we've come."

It's a fairly common concept that "we need to find a career" and there's this "one purpose" you need to find in life and then stick to it. I don't know about you - but I am sure as hell not like that.

I am married to a veterinary surgeon, and she knew that is her life's calling since she was young - always wanted a Veterinarian Barbie as a kid, and since a young age, her mission was to be great at caring for pets - and now she does. And I must say she is astounding. It's a privilege watching her career evolve.

But for me - I'm a polar opposite of that. I never knew what I wanted.

Actually - that's a lie - I did. I wanted to be a fighter pilot since I was a kid, but I learned as a pre-teen I had a medical condition that will never get me into the cockpit, so since then I kind of felt "lost" - not knowing what else I wanted.

First time I got paid for something I did in Photoshop is what I count as a "starting point" of my career. Jobs I did beforehand, like tending a bar in an Irish pub, or sweeping floors at a warehouse I don't count, although there were lessons in those as well.

It was getting paid for something I loved doing and would do anyway that sparked that "aha moment". I stumbled upon that "do what you love... blah blah..." and I stuck with that ever since. With "that" I mean the feeling, actual "graphic design" was something I did for a couple of years, and then moved away.

I started with the graphics, moved on to branding and web design. As technology was evolving, I was shifting course, mobile apps, web apps, b2b platforms - it was all related, but new and different.

I'm a type of person that hates repetitiveness of obligations and chores - and I always look for something that will challenge me and help me grow - so when something becomes "all the same" I look for the next step.

But only since I've internalised that this is actually ok - and that there is nothing wrong with not knowing what you want, as long as you are content with that and enjoy the journey - only then I've started to think more than one step ahead.

I guess there's still a lot to learn and to discover, internally and externally.

Missed previous emails?

No problem, you can read them in 📜 Breaking Freelance Archive.

Cheers!

T.

Tom Kozacinski, sir Freelance-a-lot