Holiday Dreadnought
Dec 18, 2022 5:56 pm
Is coming.
And yes I feel like a ship is bearing down on me. It isn't just the holidays, which we've pretty much bailed on this year, it is everything is changing in four weeks. My last day at work is Jan 13, 2023, but with all the stuff going on with mom for the last year I haven't written or published much of anything. This means no money coming in just as I'm walking away from a paycheck.
Yes I'm having panic attacks. I finally got the death certificates so that means I can finish wrapping up her affairs, which I figure probably by the end of January. I have to wait on other people/institutions before I can finish my parts. But then it is done.
And then I need to be ready to hit the road running both with writing and getting my huge to do list done. Mostly I just kinda wanna sit and cry, but I don't have time.
That being said you should see a bunch of changes around the first of the year and I'm considering doing a Micro short story collection. Let me know if that sounds interesting. It will also be one of the rewards for my Patreon once I get that set up. Go me.
I have a story that I've grabbed to share with you. Yes it has romance, but dragons win every time in my life. Enemies to lovers, fated mates, and dragons. Yes I have my weaknesses. But it is free right now, so grab it. Passion of the Summer Dragon.
I wrote this today, it twisted to a place I didn't expect. Oh well.
Keep Moving
You only experience something once, so hang on to every moment, both good and bad.
I didn't know who said the words but they had lingered in my mind over the years. Trying to live in the moment, yet prepare for the future, and learn from the past was difficult. Especially when some moments sucked.
I sat on my deck staring at the sunset. The colors of purple, pink, and orange coated the sky, mocking me in my grief.
It would be easier if I could cry.
The thought didn't help. Nor did the booze, or the friends, or the distractions. The grief sat there looming over me, shadowing everything I thought or did.
"It's okay, you know."
I looked up to see a loved one walk out on the deck, handing me some tea.
"What is?" I took the tea and settled back.
"Being human."
That startled a laugh out of me. "No it isn't we don't allow that anymore," I said with assurance. "Work says you get three days to wrap up all your feelings. Businesses want you to tell them instantly yet won't do anything without death certificates, and no one knows what to say to you, especially when you seem to be fine."
"That is the key word though—seem. You aren't fine, none of us are really. So what are you going to do about it?"
The words whispered in my mind and I looked up, they had vanished back into the hole in my heart. I sipped the tea I didn't remember making.
"I'm going to keep moving, and hope I get it all done before I die. I suspect that will be when I finally get to grieve."
My words echoed and I fought back a tear. I had to keep moving.
~*~
I have a bunch to do in the next four weeks. Let's hope I can get my mind to settle down and focus to get them done.
Mel
Schedule 2022:
WRITE!!!!!!
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