Sounds fun, right? Long days and endless nights navel-gazing at myself and hoping to find meaning. If I were in my twenties, this might sound appropriate. Your twenties are for indulgent self-searching, trials and quite a bit of error. But when you're pushing fifty?

With the world changing, there seems to be little else I can do to succeed day-to-day then to turn inwards to examine my heart and try to unravel the layers of bias that I've built up around my psyche.

I spend much of my time with twenty and thirty year olds and they often extend me grace for my narrow mind and predictable thinking. But when they bristle at my words, I want to understand how I offend and how to better integrate into their generation.

It’s not that I want to be like them. No, I must say, to be 47 today seems much easier than to be 27. (At least at 47, I have earned a broader understanding that the world is neither round nor flat; it is simply a stage where we are the actors.) But, I do want to be taught by them. They’re living in a time where holding space for one another is a virtue and harassment is finally getting its day in the court of public opinion. I am enthralled by how they see each other; no longer the ‘us and them’ of my upbringing but with all encompassing affection for one another, apart from differences. It’s inspiring. Plus, as a leader, I want to learn from them so that I can teach others; specifically older, conservatives who listen to me because I look like them, dress like them and make them feel comfortable. . .until I open my mouth ; )

So, I'm embarking on an intense journey into. . .myself. I’m going day by day, putting aside the acting in this grand play we call life. It’s a bold journey to explore my values, and what gives my life meaning but, in the wise words of Warren Bennis, “The point is to become yourself, to use yourself completely – all your skills, gifts, and energies – in order to make your vision manifest.”

Here's to 'self'!