Last Saturday, an Amber alert was issued in my province for a missing 4 year old boy that had been abducted within the hour of the alert. Gut wrenchingly difficult as it was to read the text broadcast, the hope of finding this little one unharmed far outweighed the heaviness I felt at the thought of him in harm's way.

I think I spend too few minutes of my day thinking of the tragedy around me. Some might say that percolating on it could lead to depressive thoughts and negative emotions but how is our attention grabbed and held if we do not face the reality that bad things happen?

My grandfather served in the last world war and he never wanted to talk about it. Much later in his life I had the opportunity to read his post war army medical records. I was mortified to read of what he’d witnessed; the friends he had lost, the graphic details of what he had seen and been exposed to. His silence about his experiences was finally understood.

Silence can be a critical way to process emotions and sort out how to cope with trauma. The problem with it though is it allows one to stay inside their head and this practice can be harmful:

“When you live inside your head too much, you start to believe your own bullsh*t.” - Melissa Grainger from DOTS Communication

Melissa goes on to say it is important to be able to tell the difference between what is real and what’s simply your inner critic’s opinion. My grandfather could have shared his trauma with his loved ones so that we could have understood him better, created space for his unique perspectives on things and simply empathized with him about loss and the horrors of war. 

I want to find ways to integrate foreboding into my daily work and life. When my project risks are realized, I want to be forthcoming about how it makes me feel so that I do not come across as inauthentic. I want to be devastated by the daily news so that I am informed on how I can help. I need to keep listening to my inner critic’s opinion and then call it out so I can gauge what is true and what is false. I want to be present in my meetings, work sprints and family dinners. All of my activities deserve to be informed by tragedy and empowered by opportunity.

We all have the opportunity to do something. Whether it’s an amber alert that triggers a collective initiative to stand for justice, an empathetic ear as someone discloses their own traumatic experiences or just silence, practiced for a time, while it serves.

Remember, the “bullsh*t” is everywhere and our attention to it needs to stand for something,

(aka The Feisty PM)