I posted an article a few weeks ago about the new maglev train in China. It uses electro-magnetic force, meaning it levitates above the track with no contact between body and rail and is able to do speeds of up to 600 km (375 miles) per hour. The premise is that without friction, the train has more opportunity for speed and is now the fastest ground vehicle globally.

Although I found the idea of this train fascinating in and of itself, I also recognized that the lack of friction makes it possible. That got me thinking about the friction in my life and just how much it costs me in efficiency, time and money.

As I am spending some treasured time with my family today, centered around the Christmas tree, I want nothing more for the day to go smoothly. But it isn’t. My youngest child wants to go meet up with a friend that is spending the day alone. . .my oldest child is cat-sitting for someone and has to ensure they are well taken care of. My mother wants to host dinner at her place with my grandmother and a friend. . .and my spouse wants to watch Die Hard 1, 2 & 3. All I want to do is go to the beach, as per our tradition, take a few family photos and then curl up with a book and read myself into January.

But, the friction I feel by us all not wanting to do the same thing is my own friction. It’s self created and it has to do with my own expectations for the day and for the ones I want to spend it with.

Expectations, as I wrote about last week, seem to be the root of a whole bunch of my problems. And what’s created when I hold them is friction. Not all expectations are bad nor is all friction but, around the holiday season, they seem to culminate in the negative.

How do we remove 'friction' in our lives? Lower our expectations!

Lowering my own expectations of the holiday season is the best way for me to realize less friction. Instead of arguing with my children about their own agendas, recognizing compromise so we all get partially what we want removes the friction felt by all of us. Does it remove it fully? No. But does it ease it? Yes.

The day I recognized that the friction I feel is self-made was the day I entered freedom. Now, I am not always able to stay in freedom but I do know where the door to it is: It's got a sign on it that says: "Get over yourself and lower your expectations of yourself and others around you". And before you say that sounds like a cop out, it’s not. It's actyally a peace deal with myself and those I interact with. (When I was younger, I might not have thought this was true but it IS!)

My advice to you today? Don’t go to war with yourself this holiday season. You might think it’s your children or family members that are insighting you but, in all honesty, it’s only you who is to blame. Lower your expectations and treasure the few priceless moments that happen around you that you didn’t expect. It will bring you joy and greatly eliminate friction.

Who knows, maybe you’ll even feel like you're levitating over the tracks,