I love to be right. L-O-V-E it. But I have come to observe that my rightness makes others feel wrong and that creates division, anger, frustration and hurt. All at the hands of. . .me, even when I never intended to provoke them. (Not good stakeholder management.)

I have had a lifetime love affair with my rightness and it's cost me more than I know. I don't want to be wrong. I don't ever want to make a mistake. But I’ve never been able to stop it. Everyday I learn something new that shifts my understanding and changes my rightness to having been wrong. (Gulp, swallow hard, is it getting hot in here?)

My life has actually been a journey of failure. I fail everyday to measure up to my own standards and the ones of those around me. It’s demoralizing and if I focus on it too much, my mental health spirals and I can get myself into a very dark, and dangerous place.

In my own experiences as a project manager, professional and all around human being,  I've discovered that my failures can be something to look forward to. Call it curiosity or a zest for learning but when I discover I’ve been misinformed or ‘wrong’ about something, I’ve ALWAYS been able to turn that into rightness through personal growth and change. 

I’ve had to shift my understanding of failure to anticipate being wrong. And, holding a growth mindset like this means I don't offend and hurt others the way I used to. (Much better stakeholder management.) When I encounter someone who MUST be right in the meeting, conversation or scenario, I stand down, leave them to their own rightness journey and listen to learn more about them and myself in that moment. Do I get frustrated and angry at the arrogance they demonstrate? You bet. . .but I remember being in their shoes so I can leverage that empathy to grow and change my thinking around what they MUST be right about. (Definitely a stakeholder management superpower!)

So, the next time you MUST be right in any environment, remember that you just might gain more leverage in the situation by anticipating that you’re wrong. You might not even be wrong but the energy you hold in believeing you could be will protect your mental health and give you far more power in the conversation. by remaining logical, reasonale and diplomatic. Plus, you’ll be further along in your own journey to understanding yourself.

Practicing being wrong to be right,