Yo Work Home Nation!

You know how when you're excited to try something new, and you finally start to do it, tapos it’s the people close to you pa who kill your momentum…?

Well, last week, Mica, one of the people I mentor inside of The Freelance Movement - a group focused on value-based freelancing - started to reach out to potential clients for her Social Media Marketing offer.

And then she goes: 

Nagkataon na natapat sa pinsan ng hubby ko yung tanong ko kasi 4 years na sila sa business struggling pa rin sila. Tinawanan lang ako and good luck nalang daw. 

Wala lang, nasaktan lang ako.

Sabi ko need ko lang sana mag-conduct ng survey, kaya kung may kakilala siya recommend niya nalang ako.

Sige daw, tapos tawa and good luck uli.

Para akong na-husgahan agad.

Medyo na-down. 

Sakit.

Mali po ba yung approach ko?

If this is also you, keep reading. 

I'd be feeling down too. It's okay to feel things fully. It's okay to share.

This is a very common thing for people starting out. This probably happened to you at some point.

Certainly happened to me.. A lot.

I mean, here she is starting to show up, going out of her comfort zone and doing an honest hustle, only for the people close to her to be the first ones not believing in her.

And... that's not unheard of. 

It's actually quite common that the first circle of friends, family, relatives or in-laws don't believe and support you initially.

If this is happening to you right now as well, , I'm here to tell you that it's okay and to keep calm and carry on.

Feel the sting fully for a moment but don't let it get to you for too long.

The biggest reason why this tends to happen is:

You have a history with them, so they know this wasn't what you were doing before. They have a snapshot of the person they think they know, so try to understand it's not (entirely) their fault.

Guys, let's stop this "kung sino pa malapit satin sila pa hindi nag support" mentality please. 

While there will always be people who are unhappy and jealous of your success (or attempts thereof), we're not any better because we also assume the worst na agad in people.

My own mom was like that too.

A few obvious facts lang:

She's known me all my life, literally ALL OF MY EXISTENCE, she knew me back when I was a helpless baby, to being a toddler who loved to wander, a makulit na pasaway na bata, a sneaky teenager trying to go out the house at night, lahat na ng mga kalokohan ko growing up, up to today. 

Our parents literally have so much data on us.

It's why we can't really impress them, no matter how hard we try. Hehe

They brought us up after all. Whatever success we have now can be attributed to them in some way.

Thing is, my mom knew I wasn't consistent with my habits before and I didn't have any big freelance clients before, so all her existing data told her that if I still had the same habits, it was likely I wouldn't succeed.

She witnessed all my downs and failed attempts firsthand.

She bailed me out sa mga failed business attempts ko, she even funded some of them knowing na baka the money would disappear forever. 

So she'd always try to steer me back towards my cushy corporate job in Makati. Kept sending friends over to refer me to openings and telling me how my classmates were doing this corporate thing or that.

yes, i actually looked a lot older back when I was a Sales Engineer for Valves. Lol. This photo is more than a decade old, tapos kasama ko yung Sales Director ng Germany, Netherlands and Belgium. haha

Her concept of what was "safe" was rooted in the corporate world view. It worked for her and my dad’s generation, after all.

And because of that, I used to argue with her a lot, too.

“Why you gotta go shit on my dreams, Ma?! ” is what a typical convo would disintegrate into whenever I'm home for the holidays.

But being the pigheaded person I was back then, I was much older when I realized it's also not really her fault. Sorry Ma.

Turns out, no one’s immune to this. 

We're all biased pala.

It's just like when we see our classmates at a high school reunion. 

We just can't believe how successful certain classmates became because it clashes with our perception of them as the goofy or shy kid from before.

“What?! Na-afford nila [insert name ng kinaiinisan mong friend here] mag-vacation sa Europe ng one month ng buong pamilya at dalawa na bahay nila?! E nangongopya lang sakin yun nung high school e!” 

Bottom line is.. it has to start with us, .  

It's actually up to us as Freelancers to give people enough new data and proof to change their perceptions of us. 

It'll just take them longer to believe because they have more outdated past info about us.

Yes, just keep giving overwhelming evidence that you're now a better, more capable version of yourself.

Don't take it against them (too much) - it's not that they want you to fail. They just haven't seen enough of the new, improved you yet.

So feel the feelings for now but don't dwell on them too long.

That's why most of us find our big breakthroughs with complete strangers (sometimes even foreign clients) because they don't have those baggage-laden past perceptions about us.

I want you to look forward to the time when even your relatives and neighbors start asking you about what you do, and become interested to learn about freelancing as well.

Hold your head up high and keep going, . You got this!

Happy Weekend!

Shoden

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