He's doing what...?

So , there has been a lot going on this month. After completing my novella, I've been working hard on a yugeee update for Afterworld. Now, overall, this book has been well received with about a 4* average? So why am I changing it?

Passive voice. I've done a thorough analysis of my writing recently and found that I used a bit too much passive voice in my previous works. With Afterworld's audiobook coming after Dawning of Darkness, I needed to get this tweaked. Let me give you an example of changes. Here is a section from the first part of chapter one:

Old

What? What’s going on! Why am I falling through the damn sky! 

The man continued looking down. With the clouds obscuring his vision and the wind blasting his eyes, it was near impossible for him to see at all. As the fear took its withering grip, his heart hammered. He squinted, forcing his eyes open and causing them to dry from the cool gale. He could barely make out his surroundings. 

There seemed to be a forest full of trees that were partially covered with snow to his north, but directly below him he was falling towards a substantial body of water.

He didn’t know where he was. The terrain was unrecognizable, and what he was seeing and feeling didn’t match up. He breathed in oxygen-rich air even at the altitude he was at; this wasn't something one would expect when falling from tens of thousands of feet in the sky. The shoreline below covered with fresh snow made little sense to him. Even at this height, it wasn't cold, and was closer to a spring night than a late fall or winter. It wasn’t like it was leftover snow from a harsh blizzard in upstate New York either. No, the land was covered like there had been a fresh fall. One thing was evident to him: wherever he was, gravity was still in control. 

I need to figure something out, and fast. 

The decision was tough. The man needed to decide how and where he was going to land. He wondered if he should go for the snow-covered trees or the frothy water. Would the snow be deep and powdery enough to break his fall without breaking him in the process? Or, perhaps, he should bank his landing on the easier target: the water below and hope for the best. 

I’m closer to the water, and at this rate, I can’t be sure if I’ll even make the trees. I haven’t ever skydived in my life. What the hell am I supposed to do! 

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New

Wha... what the hell! What’s going on? Why am I falling through the damn sky?

The man rolled over and looked down. The wind blasted his eyes. His heart hammered as the fear took hold with its withering grip. It was almost impossible for him to see much at all.

Quick gasps; panicked breaths. Each time he inhaled, oxygen-rich air filled his lungs.

He squinted as his eyes dried from the cool, salty gale. By forcing them to stay open, he could discern the surroundings below. In the closing distance to his north, he saw a large forest, and a nearby shoreline partially covered with snow. Underneath him, he was falling towards a substantial body of water. He had no clue to where he was. The terrain was unrecognizable, and what he was seeing and feeling didn’t match up. The tepid air full of oxygen confused him; he knew the air at this height wasn't supposed to be like this.

He couldn't give it much thought, for as he darted towards the ground, there was one factor that remained evident: wherever he was, gravity was still in control.

I need to figure something out, and fast. Which should I shoot for? Will the snow be deep enough? Can the trees break my fall without breaking me in the process? I’m closer to the water, and it's the easier target. Hell, at this rate, I can’t be sure I'd make the forest or the snow. Think. Damn it! 

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You can see in this section the changes and how much they make the experience more enjoyable. Not every part of the book will change to this extent, but much of it is having a similar level of edit done. I've already pulled the old paperbacks, and will be updating the ebook sometime next month. If you've already bought the book, you should be able to get the most recent file by updating it on your reading app.

Look for the updated cover with the subtitle "The Haunted Realm Beyond Our Stars" if you want to experience the book in its update form.

Next, let's talk audiobooks. I've been slowly going through and hiring some amazing voice actors again for both Dawning of Darkness and Afterworld. A few of these actors I've worked with before, and so far I've had luck in having people reprise their roles for the series. For Dawning of Darkness, I'm not sure I plan to voice any of the characters unlike I did in The Ripper's audiobook. You might hear me in cameo form, but that'll probably be about it for this one. I'll focus on the sound editing side of things. For Afterworld I'll played Leon, which you can hear my portrayal of him here (though unfortunately I will have to rerecord this as I did some edits to the script!)

I think that's about it. Down below are some books other than my own that you may be interested in. Most should be of similar genre, and some you can snag for free. Give some other indies a bit of love, or don't. It's up to you! Until next time, stay posted! And keep checking that email.

Cheap and Free Books / Audiobooks you may Enjoy.