Hey, Kody here.
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Personal update: My wife made me promise that as soon as it was too cold to do fun things outside we'd start renovating our kids' bathroom. The cold front finally hit! So we spent our Saturday tearing out the double vanity, 3 layers of flooring (still some work to do there), and texturing the walls and ceiling. Of course we ran out of joint compound just before finishing the ceiling though 😅 My grandpa always says it's not a house project till you've made 8 trips to Home Depot!
habit example
"We need to talk."
They're the words that make your heart stop.
But they're also the same words that could keep your heart beating for years longer.
What do I mean by that?
Having tough conversations could quite literally save your life, according to one shocking study.
After receiving traditional treatment, a group of patients diagnosed with malignant melanoma were split into two groups:
- One met weekly for 6 weeks where facilitators taught communication skills
- The other group didn't meet or receive any training
Five years later, researchers checked back in on both groups.
- Almost 30% of group #2 (the ones who didn't meet) had died from their illness.
- While only 9% of group #1 died (the ones who were taught communication skills).
In other words, learning communication skills boosted survival rate from just 70% up to 91%.
That's called statistical significance!
How's this possible?
The book where I read about this (fittingly called "Crucial Conversations") doesn't try to explain why, but here's my theory:
- They had the courage to speak up when their treatment didn't feel right to them
- They were able to effectively navigate conversations with loved ones in a way that resulted in less stress (stress is correlated with more illness)
- They could talk to their doctors in more frank and clear ways without beating around the bush or downplaying their symptoms (thus making sure things didn't get missed and they were taken care of)
Regardless, understanding why they lived longer is less important than the how: having tough conversations.
try it
Obviously don't be a jerk, or whiny, or complain about everything.
That's not what having tough conversations is about at all...
Practice speaking up, being kind, and clearly communicating your thoughts with a level head and a calm tone.
And I do mean practice. It's a skill to be developed.
I'm practicing too!
If you wanna check out the book I'm reading, here it is again: Crucial Conversations, By Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler.
inspiration
“I believe depression is legitimate.
But I also believe that if you don't:
exercise,
eat nutritious food,
get sunlight,
get enough sleep,
consume positive materials,
and surround yourself with support,
then you aren't giving yourself a fighting chance.”
- Matt Stephens
actual quote from my 3 year old 😂
Me: tells her a story from before she was born
Her: "Was I in jail when that happened!?”
actual quote from my 3 year old 😂
“Grandmas are big babies”
Thanks for reading!
- Kody
P.S. This song has been my daughters jam this week. Hope you like it too!
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